When You're stoned Baby, And I Am Drunk
by Rougeallur3
Summary: Elena is the intense & weird stoner girl and Damon is known as the guy who tried to kill himself. They meet one night at a party and are drawn to each other, him to her quirky & slightly odd attitude & her to his dark and mysterious past. Story follows as they and their relationship grow and they face the pressures and ideals of young adulthood. Rated M for language, drugs & smut.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Hi FF world, so this is my first story and I hope you like it! Be kind and review! xoxo_

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I sometimes think about the thoughts of others. Like when I'm standing in a room surrounded by people and yet feel completely alone. I look at them and think of their lives, the small little worlds that they have created for themselves. And I wonder as the talk and laugh and flirt and dance, as John takes Amy's hand and leads her upstairs; what does that feel like? Living. The touch of Amy's soft skin against the callous texture of John's hand. Everyone in the room around me has created an illusion of what life should be and how they should live, and its blinded them. They are so focussed on trying to live that they miss the fact that they are doing it without thought or prior rehearsal. They are doing it everyday. It is this that distanced me from all of the others in the room; I am aware of the beautiful unrehearsed laughs and touches of others. While they just see it as a floored basis that could always be improved, made better, cooler, more fashionable or simply more interesting. Yet they fail to see the that the simple instinctive interactions with others needed no improvement.

It is pure beauty.

'Hey, it's your turn.'

I glance over at Caroline and the smouldering joint she is waving in my face. We are at a party, I forget whose now. Caroline bought weed off of a white guy who clearly wished he was black.

I took in Caroline's face as I do many times when stoned. She isn't classically beautiful, many feel that her eccentric nature is part of her way of covering the fact that she is in fact just plain. Yet I know that under the semi permanent lavender hair dye is light, sandy blonde hair and that underneath the make up that is not starting to flake off, she has forty eight freckles. I counted them once. I think there are twenty two on her left cheek, fourteen on her right and twelve on her forehead.

At the moment, in the dark and smokey confines of the room it is difficult to see the colour of her bloodshot eyes, but I know that they are green. Olive green with specs of amber to be precise. We had a staring contest once.

'God I hate how pensive you are when you are stoned.' her mouth moves as she speaks and I see her crooked row of teeth along her lower jaw.

'Elena take the fucking joint before I take said joint and find another girl to enjoy it with.' I smile at her and accept the drugs she is offering me. Her remark wasn't an insult to my friendship. Caroline is a lesbian, well actually bisexual. She has a boyfriend, Tyler, who greatly enjoys this fact as the majority of the times that they have sex, another woman tends to be present. Tyler is a dick.

I turn back to the party as I inhale on the joint. Everyone who isn't completely stoned like me and caroline are looking in one direction. Damon Salvatore. Of course. The guy tried to kill himself last year and now he is the only goldfish worth looking at in the tank of society. I blow a smoke ring and the perspective makes it appear like a halo surrounding his head. That could just be the drugs though.

He is average height, although I am sitting on the floor leaning against the radiator so he could be taller. I think I remember him being taller. From down here his hair looks almost purple but as he walks through the room I see that it is in fact onyx coloured. This is odd as my observations are rarely wrong. Maybe its the drugs. I can't see and I can't remember what colour his eyes are. I should have a staring contest with him. I lift the joint to my lips once again after this thought and watch as he awkwardly shuffles towards the drinks area. As I am exhaling Caroline plucks the still- burning joint out of my hand and takes her own deep inhale.

'He looks lost.' I mutter this absentmindedly and turn to Caroline who is transfixed on a different sight completely. Bekkah. Her name is actually Rebekkah but one day she suddenly decided that she thought Bekkah sounded cuter. I think Caroline fucked her once while they were both completely out of it. Caroline still maintains that it was the best sex she has ever had and so whenever she sees her at parties, the air around her immediately turns thick with need and arousal. As Caroline inhales on the joint while still staring I cant help but think: she must be a really good fuck.

Caroline and I are both absorbed studying the moves and interactions of these beautiful creatures, I lean back against the radiator as a new wave of light headedness from the drugs hits me. The moment is interrupted as Tyler decides to join us. Tyler is quite stupid and therefore cannot tell when someone is having a deep introspective. This explains why he sees no issue in drunkenly slumping down on the floor next to us. It is either that or he is feeling horny and wants Caroline.

I'm guessing it is the second as he is now running his hand up Caroline's bare thigh. His thumb is close to the hem of her skirt so I elbow her gently to get her out of her Bekkah haze.

'Hey Tyler' I offer as she turns to away towards him. Tyler mumbles something that I think is supposed to be a greeting but it is muffled as his lips are now secured on Caroline's neck while she just gazes out onto the makeshift dance floor. I gaze down and now see that Tyler's hand has made it past the hem of her skirt and take this as my cue to leave.

I grab the joint, lighter, tobacco, papers and filters and distribute everything into my pockets apart from the joint which I place at the corner of my mouth. I push up from the ash covered cream carpet and brush down my knee length red and cream patterned skirt, I love wearing this to parties as when I dance the different hem lengths spin around me.

'Okay you guys I'm just gonna go and grab some air and a drink or something.' Caroline is now more engaged in the session going on below me so I don't think either of them here me. Just as I'm about to slowly turn on my cowboy boots and leave I see the baggie with the weed in it abandoned by the ash tray. Not wanting someone else to take it I do the courteous thing and grab it from the floor and place it into my pocket. I walk towards the makeshift drinks table and see that someone has carelessly left an unopened bottle of Jack Daniels on the table. I tuck this under my arm and ignore the few stares that I know guys are giving me as I walk towards the stairs leading to the ground floor of the house. I hate basement parties sometimes, this one has got to the point where it is too loud, the guys are obnoxiously drunk and the music is shit. When I hazily make it to the kitchen, which is unusually empty for a party, I decide to collect some food from the fridge and cupboards because I cannot be bothered to walk back into the house if I get the munchies. I feel a wave of light headedness as I stand up from looking in the bottom of the fridge, the weed is really starting to kick in. I kick the fridge door shut with my worn boot as my hands are now full with food and the Jack Daniels bottle. The paper from the joint has now stuck to my lip, I hope that doesn't bleed when I pull it off. Hazily, I stumble towards the backdoor which is thankfully on the latch so I only need to push it open with my hip.

I gaze out at the back garden of what is obviously a family home, it is still partially light outside because this party has been an all day even so I make my way across the vast expanse of grass towards the children's play area. I unceremoniously dump the food and alcohol down in front of the swing set and after a couple of minutes deliberation I slide into the swing seat and begin to gently rock back and forwards. Being stoned on swings is one of my favourite things because it really fucks with your head. I grab the lighter out of my pocket and light up the end of the joint there is only a little left but I am never one to waste good drugs. I take my final inhale and flick the roach off towards the climbing frame, that will be a nice surprise for the children when they get back. Oh well children need to be exposed to these things in life at some point. I cautiously lean forward and pick up the Jack Daniels and pull a cigarette out of my pre roll tin. My tin is pretty cool it was from disneyland from when I was ten and it has 'Mickey mouse and his pals mints' scrawled across the front, I used to think it was quite a conversation piece until I realised that people didn't really care. With this thought I light my cigarette and take a deep inhale before unscrewing the Jack Daniels and taking a large sip. Leaning back in the swing I begin to decipher shapes in the orange and pink clouds of the sky. I stay like this for a while, occasionally smoking or taking a drink from the bottle when suddenly a pair of blue eyes come into my vision instead of the clouds above. They look slightly tired but that does nothing to deter from their fascinating beauty. I will definitely have a staring contest with this person.

My thoughts are interrupted by the owner of the eyes and a husky voice whispers over me.

'You know its rude to take someone's alcohol and then go off and drink it alone.'


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Thank you to everyone who read and followed the first Chapter, I played around with the tense in this chapter so review telling me which you prefer. Thanks! xoxo_

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'You know its stupid to leave good alcohol unattended.'

I murmured back at the eyes. Sitting up slightly I analysed his eyes more closely, they were this really intense light blue with little flecks and even though they were upside down and all I could see I could tell how expressive they were. I had managed to accidentally force him into a staring contest where I just studied his upside down gaze and he studied mine. The drugs had been messing with my perspective slightly so I didn't realise how close I'd got to his face until I felt his warm breath coasting over my forehead. Deciding I knew how to win this contest I pushed my forehead up so it collided with his chin and lips, effectively forcing him to give me a kiss on the forehead. The move shocked him and his now watery eyes blinked and his head flew back in shock.

'Jesus what the fuck was that for?' his husky voice asked through a chuckle.

'I win!' I yelled feeling victorious. In a moment of idiocy I raised my arms in the air to celebrate my victory, forgetting that they were in fact the only thing keeping me on the swing. My uneven weight distribution meant that my back went crashing towards the ground, both arms flying in the air, one holding the bottle and the other my cigarette. My feet were still tangled in the swing. I began laughing so hard that tears started to pour from my eyes and blurred my vision. Through my hysterics I heard a brief mutter of 'oh shit' from above me but I found the situation too funny to care.

'Hey are you are okay? You made kind of a huge thud when you hit the grass.' The person says again. After this I can imagine what I must have looked like to this person and fell into another bout of hysterics.

'Okay well I'm not gonna waste good tobacco or alcohol so..' The voice said again and the items in my hands were pried out of their grip. At the realisation that this person was taking my stuff I shot up from my spot on the floor, forgetting that my feet were still trapped in the seat of the swing. They fell to the floor but the disturbance caused the swing to float backwards towards my face and I was far too out of it to realise. A hand shot out from above me with what i now recognised as my cigarette in between two of the fingers and grabbed the chain of the swing, stopping its path towards my face. Another husky chuckle came from above me. This guy really needed some throat sweets or a mint, maybe I could show him my tin.

'What did you say?' The voice above me said through another laugh. I heard him inhale on my cigarette and was slightly annoyed that he was still smoking it but I guess it was just hanging in my hand while I laughed and I did take his alcohol so it's fair. After this thought I realised that I had been mumbling my thoughts about mints and tins out loud. If the situation wasn't quite so absurd in the first place I would have been a little embarrassed but as it was there wasn't really anything worse that could happen so instead I just shrugged and crawled to my feet.

When I finally composed myself I turned around to see none other than Damon Salvatore, or as he is sometimes more affectionately known as, the 'suicide guy' leaning against one of the frames that supported the child's swing set. My cigarette was between his lips and the bottle of Jack Daniels was in his hand. Up close I can now see that he is a little bit taller that I remember and that his hair is of course black not purple. He was dressed in a pretty simple way, grey v-neck, black jeans, biker boots and a leather jacket. His eyes were surveying me in a way that had I not been heavily intoxicated I would have found a bit intense.

I was finally in the position to get my cigarette back so I pounced on him and tore it from his lips. He took a deep breath as it ripped his lower lip but I didn't care and simply turned around while inhaling on it and sat on the ground with the food that I had brought out with me.

'Are you gonna stand like a creeper and cry like a baby or are you gonna sit down and feast with me?' I asked casually while tearing into a packet of cookies with my teeth. There was a shuffle of footsteps behind me until I saw him walk in front of me and sit on the other side of the food mountain. I through a bag of crisps at him which he deftly caught in one hand with a smile on his face.

'Thanks.' He muttered. The bottle of Jack Daniels was now next to the mountain of food and so I reached across and washed down a mouth full of cookies with a large swig of it. He looked like he was about to protest so to placate him I pulled my black floppy hat off of my head and pulled it down onto his. The move silenced him and a quizzical look spread out over his face.

'There, that's much better.' I gave a firm nod and turned back to my cookies, I was forcing them in two at a time.

'Wow, you really like those cookies huh.' He said through a mouthful of crisps and a laugh. I through one at his chest and told him 'yeah I do actually thank you very much.' Giving him a sweet smile before placing another one in my mouth. I looked down trying to decide what food I will eat next and when I looked up at him I realised, with pride, that he is studying my tobacco tin.

'Cool tin.' He said looking up and into my eyes, he hadn't taken my hat off yet which I found odd as most of the times when I have done that the person gets pissed off and throws it back at me. I realised that he was expecting me to respond and talk about my tin, I'm stunned for a moment because whenever I have discussed it with people the conversation tends to be extremely one sided on my half.

'Oh, thanks I got it when I turned 10 and I went to Disneyland in Florida, it had all of these mints in it that were the shapes of Disney characters. I found it a couple of years ago and i had to use it, I even left a couple of mints in there to show people because I think they're pretty cool but people don't care, well apart from you of course..so yeah that's my tin.'

I trail off at the end because he is smiling at me weirdly, kind of like a half smile half smirk and I wasn't quite sure how to respond to it.

'You look ridiculous by the way.' I add on to the end of my speech, because frankly he did look ridiculous and I couldn't just sit there talking to him without him knowing how stupid he looked, that's just rude.

He let out a small chuckle at my comment about how my hat looks on him but didn't move to remove it, instead he went to open my tin.

'Thanks, I know.' He says in answer to my comment, he was smirking again and I couldn't help but think about how out here he didn't look like the lost creature from the basement. He was almost confident. I liked it.

By now he had opened my tin. The baggie of weed was on top of all of my rolling stuff and he plucked that out with a raised eyebrow and tutted a few times. I just shrugged my shoulders at him. I mean I'd happily share some with him if that's what he wants, he's not really the loner suicide freak that the whole university had him labelled as so I'd happily share my drugs with him.

By now he had lifted a couple of the mints out of my tin and was staring at them with rapt fascination. I think he was holding the Donald Duck one but I'm not sure as the light had faded by this point and it was hard to make everything out.

I started wondering if he wanted to fuck me and if that was why he was acting like he found my stuff interesting. If so his preamble was a welcome variation from the whispered propositions I usually receive from guys.

'You're right these are interesting, I really like...'

'Do you want to fuck me? Is that why you're talking to me about my stuff and pretending to take interest because I can just save you the trou...'

'I don't want to fuck you.' he looked me dead in the eye as he said this. I was slightly taken aback by this statement because guys usually only talk to me if they want sex.

'oh, okay then so why are you here?' He laughed at this and it was very light and lyrical.

'I saw you running off with my alcohol, so I came after you to get it back but then you head butted my and fell off of the swing so you deterred me a little.' He'd started rolling a cigarette out of my stuff while he was talking but I just ignored it and carried on listening to him.

'Also I really didn't like the party anymore it had reached the point where people were either fucking or vomiting so I thought I might as well run out here and chase down the girl in the hat who took my Jack Daniels.'

'You shouldn't have left it unattended.' I counter, this was new territory for me, a serious conversation with a serious guy.

'Yeah you already said that.' He smiled at me while saying this, assuring me that he wasn't as angry as he might have sounded.

'I'm Elena. Not just the girl in the hat who stole your alcohol, I mean I am that girl but my name is Elena.' I get my introduction out, I think that I must sound nervous even though I'm not I just always feel the need to explain stuff when I'm stoned.

He laughed at my speech before responding with 'I'm Damon.'

I suddenly wanted to know more about him other than the whole suicide thing that goes around the university.

'Can we have a staring contest?' I asked eagerly while pushing the food and alcohol to the side so I could sit right in front of him with our knees touching. He looked slightly shocked with my sudden burst of energy considering how subdued I had been for the rest of the conversation.

'Er, sure.' he stuttered out because I had pulled the hat off of his head and pulled his face down to be level with mine without any prior warning. I noted that he had really soft hair, softer than it looked. Maybe he has some special shampoo regime. I didn't move my hands but kept a firm hold on his head making sure he couldn't move away. He cautiously raised his hands and pushed my hair out of my face to do the same. I closed my eyes to prepare myself for the competition.

'Okay, ready?'

'Yeah' he whispered at me.

'Go.'


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Its a little shorter but I wanted to cut it off here before I delved into the more juicy stuff! As always I love to hear __feedback so review, Thanks! (sorry for any typos, its late) xoxo_

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I wasn't prepared for the intensity of this contest. Most staring contests are the same, you look at each other and pull a face or something to get the other person to blink. However when I opened my eyes any thought of winning left my head. His eyes were beautiful. There were so many intricate colour patterns and slight shade changes. Even though his pupils were slightly dilated because of the light but I could still make out the underlying light green tones and the subtle greys. It wasn't the colour that mesmerised me though, it was the emotions that I could see that he was struggling with that really captured me. He was lost. Suddenly the whole experience felt far too invasive, his hands on my face felt suffocating and the way I was holding his was far too intimate. I was seeing things about him that I wasn't expecting to see and I wasn't sure how to cope.

Despite my inner struggle I refused to simply back down, I had never lost a staring contest and I refused to lose one now. After a few minutes tears started to pour down my cheeks, from both from the pain of keeping my eyes open for so long and the pain that I saw in his eyes.

His thumbs reached from the side of my head and brushed the tears away from my cheeks. I saw something new in his eyes then, it was understanding. He understood that I saw his pain and that I didn't know how to respond to it.

Without thinking about it I leant my head forward until my forehead rested against his and for the first time ever I conceded a staring contest. We stayed like that for a moment, I was trying to compose myself before I opened my eyes to face him again.

'I win.' He whispered sombrely.

I sniffed and pulled back from his face with a small smile. 'Yeah I guess you do.' I whispered back. Opening my eyes I could see he felt a little awkward and wanted to move on from the intense stating competition so I tried to change the subject.

'Would you like a joint?' I asked as I shuffled backwards and put a reasonable amount of distance between us.

'Well I'm not supposed to with my meds, but I'm not supposed to drink with them either so sure, yeah a joint would be great thanks. Doctor's orders are more like simple guidelines anyway.' I smiled at him and began getting all of the stuff together to roll the joint.

'So Elena,' he placed my hat on my head as he said my name.

'What are you studying? By the whole artsy boho thing you've got going on I want to say art student, but at the same time something is telling me you're slightly more academic. So please do quench my thirst for information.' He asked while leaning back on his elbows.

I looked up at him as I licked the joint paper and replied. 'Well you'd be right, I'm actually studying Literature and Creative writing.'

'Oh that's interesting, maybe I can read some of the stuff you write?' He smirked at me and grabbed the completed joint from my hands. I couldn't be bothered to reach across and grab it back so instead I picked up my zippo and threw it at him.

'If you keep stealing my drugs then I'll never show you anything.' I shot back before taking a swig of Jack Daniels.

'Just repaying you for stealing the alcohol hun.'

'Oh my god you really need to let that go. Why are you so protective of your Jack Daniels?'

'Because I always bring a bottle to parties so that I actually have something that I can drink instead of the questionable substance that they call beer in those red plastic cups.'

'Well you're still drinking it now so just calm down about it and give me that.' I retorted, reaching over to grab the joint from between his lips.

I wanted to challenge him on the boring conversation starter but understood his want for something mild after the staring competition. I leant back on one arm and kicked my legs out in front of me as I inhaled. I allowed the smoke to sink into my lungs while I studied him. He was beautiful, that much was obvious, but he also appeared almost cocky and free spirited. He smirked and made his eyebrows dance across his forehead when he was speaking to me. I couldn't make out if it was an act to mask pain or if it was his regular behaviour and the pain just settled beneath the surface. I released the smoke above me.

'Is the whole cocky thing just an act?' I queried before taking another drag and passing the joint back to him. I just wanted to clear the air really as everything about him was contradictory.

I slid around and sank down on my back onto the floor next to where he was lounging and gazed at the slowly emerging stars while he smoked more of the joint before answering me.

'If you want to have a peek and find out all you have to do is ask.' He smirked looking down on me before blowing smoke rings at my face.

'I'll bare that in mind for the future.'

'Thats not all that needs to be bare.' He chuckled and winked at me before flopping down on the floor next to me. He passed me the joint and let his arm rest next to mine on the grass.

'Its not an act. It's just battling with other stuff.' He said while stretching his other arm behind his neck.

'What about you Miss kookie? What's going on with the inner workings of Elena.' He stretched out the letters on my name as he spoke it and turned to face me.

'Well I say pretty much everything that I'm thinking so I guess you already know.' I blew the smoke out above our heads. Before he had the opportunity to answer I threw another sentence at him.

'Let's play another game!' I stubbed the joint out on the children's play area and sat up again, crossing my boot covered legs beneath me.

'Well I guess I have no choice.' He muttered after letting out a slight sigh and pulling himself up to sit opposite me.

'You guess right.' I smiled at him as I grabbed the Jack Daniels bottle which was still three quarters full. I stood it between us and gazed up at him to see him staring at me intently, his eyes blazing with humour and intrigue.

'Right okay then. These are the rules, it's like truth or dare but the truth has to be a secret that no one else knows. This just makes the game more interesting.' I pulled my hat off and tossed it on the ground by the now forgotten food. I rolled my shoulders in preparation for the game ahead.

'And my alcohol is present because?...'

'Oh you just take a shots worth after each truth or dare.'

He rolled his eyes and replied with 'Why Miss kookie are you trying to get me drunk?' Holding an offended had to his chest as he responded. Even though his eyes were now glazed over from the weed they were still powerful and beautiful.

'Oh how well you know me.' I snarkily replied. He shook his head and pulled his leather jacket off of his shoulders. I spotted some scars on his left inner arm as he moved it into the light of the house but decided not to comment when we were just about to start a game.

'I'll start by asking you. Truth or dare?'

'Dare.' He smirked at me.

'I dare you to drink that entire bottle of milk.' I said pointing at the bottle I had brought out with me.

'Easy.' He smirked again and grabbed the bottle out of the pile and unscrewed the lid. He got up onto his knees and began pouring the milk down his throat, quickly chugging it down. Some poured out the corner and trickled down his neck, threatening to reach his t -shirt. After a few more seconds he was done and the empty milk bottle was thrown behind me. He released a refreshed 'ahh' sound and sat back down with a huge grin on his face. Reaching forward he grabbed the bottle of alcohol and took a sizeable swig out of it.

'Right Miss Elena, truth or dare?'

I contemplated the question for a few moments before I responded. 'Truth.'

'Ooh okay, I'm excited for this juicy secret.' He said smirking and rubbing his hands together.

'Okay, I'm not a virgin but I've never been kissed.' I see the slight confusion and then shock cross over his features as he understands that not one of my sexual encounters has been tender or loving. He looked like he was about to speak but I took a large drink of whiskey and proceeded to cut him off.

'So Damon truth or dare.'

'Truth.'


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Hello Everyone! Thank you so much for the lovely reviews! I hope you enjoy this chapter, Let me know what you think! (Disclaimer: I own nothing) xoxo_

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'Since you are talking in riddles I'll do the same.' He gave me a smirk before he continued.

'I have siblings but I'm an only child.'

Possibilities as to what this meant swirled through my mind, was he adopted? Did he have siblings who were only his through bond and not through blood? There was an option that was too dark for me to consider. Death.

He could see my obvious internal questioning and chose this moment to take his drink from the bottle between us. This one was longer though, definitely there to medicate and not to liberate.

'Your turn.' I looked at him and gone was the twinge of pain I had seen when he told me his secret. Instead he was now smirking at me and his eyes had begun to haze over more.

'Dare.' I sat up proudly as I said this.

'Ooh trusting, what if I dared you to get naked?' He slurred slightly and I realised the drugs and alcohol were starting to effect him to a greater extent.

'I would do it.' I stated confidently. 'I mean who is gonna concede a game just because they are afraid to get naked?'

'Fair point.' He said through a laugh. 'Although that's not what I'm going to dare you to do.' He paused for dramatic effect, a smirk still plastered on his face.

'I dare you...to do the first thing you thought of doing to me when you saw me.' The big grin on his face made me let out a small laugh and I decided I could have fun with this. I crawled up onto my knees before slowly crawling towards him until I was kneeling with a leg either side of him. The smirk had left his face and I watched as he swallowed deeply. I edged forward until our noses were touching and we were sharing air. I smiled at him before moving my head down to his neck. I buried my nose into the skin there and inhaled deeply as I dragged my nose up to his jaw line. At the same time I ran my hands through his hair to test out my theory on its softness. It was silky and ran easily through my fingers and the feeling combined with his musky heady scent made me feel quite light headed. I pecked him on his stubbled jaw and giggled as I jumped backwards to my previous spot.

I looked up at him as I picked up the bottle and the confusion on his slightly intoxicated features nearly made me burst out laughing at him. I was right, that was fun.

'Okay Damon, truth or dare?'

This shook him out of his stupefied state and he looked up at me trying to school his features back into cool confidence. He gave a slight cough before he answered.

'Truth'

I was surprised at this, I wasn't expecting him to want to share any more with me but I motioned for him to continue anyway. He reached his arm out and grabbed my hand pulling me towards him slightly. To my complete surprise he placed my hand on his crotch where I felt a hard and sizable bulge.

'You just got me harder than I've ever been and you barely touched me.'

He whispered this into my ear, his stubble was grazing my cheek and I still hadn't moved my hand from his lap even though he had released my arm. He didn't pull back completely, our noses were brushing against each other and our heavy breaths were mingling in the small space between our lips.

I glanced up from his lips and looked into his eyes. I suddenly felt very nervous and unsure of myself. I'd never kissed anyone before I mean are there rules about this kind of thing? What way do I tilt my head? Tongue? No tongue? Does he expect me to initiate it? Do I kiss him right on the lips or do I latch onto one lip?

My internal meltdown was stopped as I felt the soft brush of his lips against mine. It was barley a kiss, almost like an accidental graze. His lips were still slightly parted as he breathed and he kept his lips hovering above mine. He leant forward again. This time he was more sure of himself, there was slightly more pressure, it wasn't a full on attack but neither was it a polite peck.

He pulled back again and both of our breathing patterns were slightly elevated. I glanced into his eyes but they were transfixed on my lips and then suddenly something snapped and I was pulled into his lap by two strong hand on my hips. His lips were on mine showing me the full force of his lust in that moment. One hand moved from my hip and brushed my hat off of my head to gain access to my hair. Oh my god I'm having my first kiss. This is all I could think as he ran his hand through my hair and kissed down my throat. He moved back up to my lips and tugged my bottom lip into his mouth before biting on it softly. His tongue then ran across the place that his teeth had grazed and in a moment of bravery mine tentatively reached forward to touch it. This ignited something as suddenly the hand running through my hair tightened its grip and the hand on my hip pulled me down so I was fully straddling him. The sudden movement had me moving one of my previously lifeless hands to his shoulder to steady myself. This hand then traveled with a mind of its own and before I knew it I could feel the soft strands of his hair beneath my fingertips. I brought my other hand up to cup his cheek as his tongue continued to languidly move along mine. That's when I realised it. I could feel the bulge in his jeans below me and despite this and his moment of carnal lust a few seconds ago, this wasn't about sex. This was about him showing me passion and tenderness, intimacy without sex.

The second I realised this I let out a breathy gasp and grabbed onto his hair tightly. I wanted to anchor myself to this feeling of intimacy and I wanted to be present and not just an onlooker in one of the most important experiences in my life. I mean yeah I'm twenty but every girl only has one first kiss and I intended to make it as memorable as possible.

The moment he realised that I was sinking into the moment this passion-filled moan rumbled throughout his chest. I began clawing at his shirt now, desperate for some way to stay grounded during this moment. His hand drifted down my arm and he linked his fingers through mine, keeping me in touch with reality. He began to run his thumb across my hand in time with the movements of his tongue. His mouth left mine and moved down my neck again, his teeth nibbling on the skin next to the thin tie strap of my white, cotton camisole.

'Damon.' his name escaped my lips in a breathy gasp.

My fingers tangled into his hair again and for the first time I was the one to gain some control. I gently pulled his lips up towards mine as his tongue travelled along my neck. The moment our lips met again we both groaned and clung onto each other. Just as he started to nibble on my lower lip again I heard the cry of my name enter my subconscious.

'Lena-bell!'

Caroline's high pitched voice flew down from the house. I looked up and gasped as Caroline's lavender hair came bounding down the grass to the play area. Damon had been too involved in the kiss and began kissing down my neck again as she ran over.

'Lena you ready to...OH MY GOD YOU'RE NOT ALONE!'

At Caroline's over dramatic reaction Damon's swollen lips detached from my neck and his head flew back. I scrambled out of his lap and grabbed blindly for my things.

'Yeah Caroline I'm ready to go. I just need to gather my stuff.' I looked up at her and thats when I noticed her disheveled appearance and was happy that I had left her and Tyler to it.

'Okay, er I'm just gonna go to the house and make sure Tyler hasn't been sick anywhere.' She announced before turning away. Once she started walking back to the house I turned back to Damon.

His eyes were still slightly glazed from the drugs and alcohol, his lips were swollen and his hair hung messily across his forehead. I put my hat on and gathered my other belongings off of the floor before turning back to him. I grabbed his head in my hands and let my fingertips drift into the tufts of hair I could feel. I stared into his eyes and ran a thumb over his slightly parted bottom lip.

'Thank you, Damon Salvatore.' I whispered sincerely before rising up and walking away. I didn't look back.

* * *

_A/N: There you go! Some Delena goodness to make up for the shortness :)_


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: Two chapters in one day? I got a little carried away and just wanted to keep writing so here is Chapter 5! Let me know what you think, its the longest chapter yet! xoxo_

* * *

'Look at you all happy and stare off into the distancy.' Caroline sings over my shoulder from behind the couch a week later.

'Are we still thinking about Damon 'Dreamy Eyes' Salvatore?' I turned around and smacked her over the head with my magazine.

'Shut up caroline!' I looked at her, the lavender dye had washed out of her hair completely and she was make up free. She had on her secret cupcake pyjamas, not even Tyler knew about them.

'Look at Lena-bell all loved up.' She said as she climbed over the back of the sofa to sit next to me. I really wish I knew why she invented that nickname, it has absolutely no relevance in our friendship. I flicked my cigarette in the ash tray and gave her a sarcastic smile.

'Caroline, I am not loved up and I never called him "Dreamy Eyes"' I point at her with my cigarette as I say this before taking another drag on it. Part of me is really regretting not asking him what he studied because then I could look like a truly loved up stalker and go to his department building and wait outside his lecture hall. I am behaving like I am thirteen and my first kiss hasn't spoken to me in the hallway. A frown had obviously passed over my face while I was thinking about this because Caroline nudged my shoulder with hers and said.

'Hey Lena do you want to dance it out?' She jumped up off of the sofa and stubbed out her cigarette in the ash tray.

'I'll even put on Bowie.' I smiled up at her and took one final drag on my cigarette before stubbing it out as well. Bowie was my weak-spot and Caroline knew it, on days when I was feeling really sad about stuff she would play 'Golden Years' really loudly in the living room and burst through my bedroom singing along.

'I need some alcohol as well though.' I said smiling at her and ran into the kitchen while she set up the CD player. I grabbed the bottle of tequila, salt and limes and danced back into the living room as the first notes of 'Golden Years' started to play. I spun around laughing, my silk kimono flying around me as I did. I jumped on the sofa and pointed the bottle of tequila at Caroline as I yelled.

'DON'T LET ME HEAR YOU SAY LIFE'S TAKING YOU NOWHERE!'

Caroline dramatically pointed at me and swooned as she sang back 'AAAAANNGEEEEL'

I fell down onto the couch laughing and poured tequila into two shot glasses. Standing, I held one out to her along with a piece of lime before pouring salt onto each of our hands. We clinked our glasses, licked the salt and downed the shot before chewing desperately on the lime.

About ten shots and as many Bowie songs later we were both drunk, me far more than Caroline. I was lying on one of the oriental rugs in the middle of the apartment in just my silky, floral shorts and embroidered camisole laughing at Caroline's couch dancing. I sat up to pour us another shot when suddenly there was a knock on the door. I guessed that it was probably Tyler because Caroline and I really aren't that popular so messily clambered to my feet and stumbled towards the door. I scrambled for the door knob yelling out

'Hello! Forbes-Gilbert residence how may we help you?!' The character on the other side of the door was not Tyler as I was expecting. Why was Rebekah here?

'Hi, er Elena right? Er..well..um..is Caroline there?' Rebekah Mikaelson was standing at my door at 1:15am on a Thursday night to see Caroline. AND she was nervous. I realised I hadn't responded to her when she turned away and started to walk out.

'Yeah, Rebekah wait she's right in here.' I slurred while smiling at her. I stumbled backwards pulling the door open with me to let her stroll in. She had the usual reaction to the decoration of our apartment: a socked gasp. People just don't expect the worn leather couch, oriental rugs and candles, I mean they should, Caroline and I aren't exactly typical in our approach to life.

'Hey Lena who was at the door?' Caroline slurred slightly as she walked out from the kitchen. How was she not as drunk as me?

'Hey Caroline.' Rebekah's timid voice over the sound of the music. I rushed over to the CD player as daintily as possible and turned down the music.

'Rebekah? What are you doing here?' Caroline questioned.

'I er well I wanted to see you because I haven't spoken to you in a while and yeah..' Rebekah trailed off awkwardly. I draped my kimono back on and started to move towards the door to find my cowboy boots. I was nowhere near as sneaky as I though and managed to stumble as I attempted to put my first boot on. I'm normally so much better at sneaking out.

'Elena stay there!' Caroline yelled.

'Oh no its fine you guys don't worry.' I stumbled again as I hopped into my boot.

'No Elena don't worry I'm just gonna go.' Rebekah mumbled as she turned to leave. I watched as Caroline grabbed her arm and spun her around, the whole thing happened so quickly that my intoxicated mind couldn't deal with it. One minute Rebekah was walking out and the next Caroline had her pushed against the wall and was kissing her neck.

I heard Caroline's smug announcement of 'I missed you too Bekkah.' Before she swooped back in and attacked her lips. I wasn't really sure what to do but I couldn't really be bothered to go out because I suddenly felt far more drunk than I realised I had been. I grabbed the tequila and decided to sneak towards my bedroom. I crawled onto my futon and leant back against the large stack of pillows in the corner. I heard them stumbling towards Caroline's bedroom and couldn't help but think that could be me if I hadn't been so stoned and idiotic last week. This was my final thought before I took another glug of tequila and passed out on my bed.

* * *

The next morning I awoke to an incessant banging on my front door. I moaned before crawling out of bed and reaching for my door, sometimes I really wish my bed wasn't on the floor, it makes things so much more difficult. I stopped mid reach when I heard the door open and someone storm in I knew it wasn't going to be good.

'Elena Sophia Gilbert get your ass out here now!' the voice shouted. I sighed and wrapped my kimono around me before opening the door.

'Good morning to you too Dad.' I mumbled as I walked into the living room.

'I see you are still living with the lesbian girl.' He stated pointing towards the kitchen where I presumed Caroline and Rebekah were.

'Yeah Dad, I'm still living the wild hippy high life.' I sighed while reaching for my cigarette and lighter.

'Still smoking too.'

'Oh my god Dad your powers of observation are astounding this morning.' I sarcastically exclaimed before lighting the cigarette and taking a deep inhale. I chucked my lighter on the coffee table and crossed my arms.

'Why are you here?' I couldn't be bothered with the usual round of insults.

'Your brother is in the hospital again.' He answered sharply.

'Why what happened?' I started to panic, Jeremy meant everything to me, he was the only one who I could relax with in my family.

'He had another seizure. Anyway if you can be bothered to get off your ass and see him this is the information.' he chucked a piece of paper at me and stormed out of the apartment.

I carefully folded the paper and placed it on the coffee table before walking into the kitchen. Caroline and Rebekah were sitting at the table drinking coffee, Rebekah was sitting in Caroline's lap but they just sat in silence sipping their drinks.

'Morning love birds.' I smiled as I walked towards the coffee maker.

'Hey Lena, you okay?' Caroline asked quietly.

'Caroline, you know what he's like, I'm fine, I've been dealing with it for twenty years, its nothing new.' I stated as I started pouring myself a mug. It was definitely going to be black this morning. I flicked my ash in the sink and inhaled on my cigarette again before hopping onto the counter.

'I know Lena but he treats you like crap every time and every time you just shake it off as if its nothing.' She stroked her hand through Rebekah's hair as she spoke.

'That's because it is Caroline, look can we just leave it please?' I felt bad for snapping but I didn't really want to talk about this when her and Rebekah still had the glow off of their last orgasm. Just as I started to think about how long it had been since I'd had that glow there was another knock on the door.

'Right, I'll get that and tell your Dad that your weird Lesbian friend says fuck off.' Caroline announced before shuffling Rebekah off of her lap. I smiled at her and downed the last of my coffee and used the mug as an ash tray before carrying on my cigarette.

'So Rebeka...' I stopped mid way through the beginning of my question about my tobacco tin when I looked up at the kitchen door. Damon Salvatore was stood in my kitchen doorway wearing jeans a black vest and a beanie. Words failed me.

'Hi.' He smirked at my open mouthed expression.

Caroline's head popped up behind him with a hug grin. 'Hey Bekkah want to go to my room?' The second the words left her mouth Rebekah jumped up and ran to her leaving me and Damon alone.

'You gonna speak at any point kookie?' My attention was pulled back to Damon after he spoke.

'How the hell do you know where I live?' I asked before lighting another cigarette, my last one abandoned in the coffee mug.

'I just asked around the university if anyone knew where the kookie, stoner girl named Elena lived.' He responded with a smile as he walked over to stand in front of me.

'Yooouuu' he said tapping me on the nose and taking the cigarette from me, 'ran away from me before I got to find out anything about you.'

'Well actually I stumbled...and give that back.' I replied before grabbing for the cigarette. He moved between my legs and held the back of my neck, delicately he pulled my face forward before blowing his cigarette smoke into my mouth. His bottom lip brushed mine as he did and I felt a shudder go through me.

He leant back smirking, took another inhale and picked the hem of my shorts. 'I like these.' his thumb skimmed across the skin of my thigh.

'What'cha doing today?' he whispered in my ear.

'I have to go to the hospital.' I whispered back. Concern suddenly swept through his features and he stepped backwards and examined me from head to toe.

'I'm fine.' I said stroking his cheek, it was a bit intimate and weird but it felt right so I went with it. He smiled at me and grabbed my hand from his cheek and held onto it.

'But I wanted to spend the day with you.' He said with a cute pout and lowered his forehead to mine.

'Well you still can..' I trailed off, shocked at myself for suggesting that he could come and see Jeremy with me. I ran a hand through his hair and pecked his nose.

'Really?' The shock was evident in his tone. I felt a wave of pride go through me at this, I had shocked cocky and confident Damon Salvatore.

'Yeah.' I slid of the counter and down his front, grabbing my cigarette back as I went.

'But first I have to change really quickly so say good bye to the shorts.' He did a big overdramatic sigh before sliding down my body and placing a kiss on my bare hip bone above the elastic of my shorts.

'Bye shorts.'

* * *

_A/N: I hope you guys liked it! xoxo_


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: I know I have been updating loads today so go back and make sure you're on the right chapter. Just had a big burst of inspiration and wanted to get it out to you guys. As usual be kind and review (Disclaimer: I own nothing) xoxo_

* * *

When I emerged from my bedroom ten minutes later wearing a white slip, shorts and pulling on my trusty cowboy boots Damon was lounging on the sofa with a cigarette and reading my copy of 'The Great Gatsby'. I smiled at the image he made and pulled my boot on all the way.

'Listen to this' He said to me without looking up from the book, he inhaled on the cigarette and blew the smoke out above him. '_The colossal vitality of his illusion, it had gone beyond her, beyond everything_. Isn't that just the most beautiful sentence ever?'

'Thats actually my favourite quote.' I said from the doorway of my bedroom. He looked up then, smirking at me before he placed the book down, stubbed the cigarette out and sauntered over to me.

'See I've been here twenty minutes and I already learned something new about you.' He glanced down at my outfit and fingered the hem of my slip in the same way he did my shorts. I noted that he had a weird fascination with my clothes and that I should ask him about it later.

'I like this.'

'Thanks. It twirls.'

'I think I'll have to see that for myself.' He smirked again before he bent down and threw me over his shoulder.

'DAMON!' I screamed because he didn't know about my irrational fear of heights, I think it stems from when I was younger but I can't ask my parents about it.

'Relax kooky I'm just putting you somewhere that I can really appreciate the twirling properties of this slip.'

'You're a bit of a creeper about my clothes you know?' I muttered over my shoulder at him.

'I can't help it you just look so darn cute in them.' He said as he put me down so I was standing on the sofa.

'Twirl kooky girl, twirl.' He commanded sweeping his arms out and stepping backwards. I gave him the finger did a quick twirl and managed to stop myself after that one because that slip really is so much fun to twirl in.

'Happy now Salvatore?' I asked before jumping off the sofa. I proceeded to pull my brown suede bag from under the corner of the sofa and began to walk around the living room chucking everything I needed into it.

'You're taking weed to the hospital?'

'Oh its for afterwards. Trust me I'm going to need it.' I said before I ran into the kitchen to get my cigarettes and lighter. I also grabbed the packet of cookies from the cupboard and threw them into my bag, knowing they were Jeremy's favourite.

'Ready to go stalker boy?' I asked as I ran back into the living room.

'Whenever you are, my kooky princess'

'I am not a princess.' I gave him a stern look before grabbing his bare arm, ignoring the scaring I could feel there and pulling him towards the door. Just as he reached for the handle I released his arm and turned back to the living area.

'Oh shit I forgot the paper with the information!' I exclaimed racing around the living room until I found it lying by the coffee table.

'Got it!' I yelled before running back and dragging him out of the now open front door.

* * *

'So who are we going to see exactly?' Damon asked as we walked through the doors of the hospital.

'My brother. We are going to see my Brother.' I sighed while looking down at the piece of paper in my hands. I chewed on my lip as I tried to work out all of the information on the sheet.

'What room is he in?' Damon asked over my shoulder. 'I know this hospital like the back of my hand, I'll navigate you there kooky.'

'Oh Er I'm not sure, I swear my dad tries to make these things as complicated as possible. Asshole.' He lets out a short chuckle before reaching around me and plucking the paper out of my hand.

'Right its this way.' he said after looking at the paper for a few seconds. He grabbed my hand and pulled me down the corridor towards the elevator. He had been less flirty as we got closer to the hospital and at this point his cocky nature was on the lowest dimmer setting.

I hiked my bag on my shoulder and stared at the back of his beanie covered head as he dragged me down the hallways. When we finally reached the elevator he pressed the button for the third floor and pulled me inside.

'Okay so I should just warn you, my parents could be there.'

'Oh my god how scary! Real live ones?!' He mocked me as the elevator dinged alerting us to the fact that we had reached our floor. I watched him briefly gaze at the paper again before pulling me out of the elevator along behind him again.

'Ha. Ha. Yes real live ones and well they don't really like me and really won't like it if you are there and they may say some mean stuff and well you can just ignore it, especially my Dad because he is just like scum of the Earth and my mum appears nice but there is this secret judgemental bitch below the surface and...'

'Woah Lena stop.' Damon spun around and held my face in his hands.

'You're a literature student yet there was a distinct lack of commas in that sentence.' He chuckled at me.

'I'm sorry but I just needed to warn you because they can be..'

'Intense?'

'I was going with unforgiving bigoted assholes.'

'That works too.' Damon said through a laugh while shrugging his shoulders

'Can we continue?' He asked me seriously. I nodded in response and before I could reply Damon had turned around again and was pulling me back down the hallway.

'Ta-Dah!' He stopped and spun around in front of a door before reaching for the handle and sweeping it open like a butler.

'Stop acting like a gentleman stalker boy.' I admonished and patted him on the head as I walked in. Thankfully the room was empty and it was just Jeremy's small body lying in the bed.

'Hey Buddy, how's it going?' I questioned allowing a huge smile to form over my face. The door hadn't shut behind me yet and I turned around to see Damon manoeuvring around the door to walk into the room but then someone calls his name.

'Damon?! What are you doing here, I didn't think you had an appointment today?' Damon smiles at me before holding up a finger and shutting the door. I stared at it quizzically before turning back to my five-year-old brother.

'LENA-BELL!' he yells while holding his arms in the air. I'm careful of the wires that are attached to him as I hug him.

'You have been hanging around with Auntie Care for way too long Buddy.' I laughed before hopping onto the bed next to him.

'Scooch up bed hogger!' Jeremy giggles next to me and slides over so I can fit on the bed next to him.

'Is Aunite Care here as well?!'

'Sorry Buddy, Auntie Care had to stay at home...I did bring another friend though, is that okay Jer?' I watched his eyes light up at the prospect of meeting someone new.

'Can I meet them?! Where are they?!'

'They are just outside Jer, calm down though, don't wanna freak him out.' I ruffled his brown hair and nudged his shoulder.

'Oooh guess what else I brought you?!' I grabbed my bag from the floor and rummaged around inside until I grasped onto the pack of cookies.

'Don't tell mum and dad.'

'I won't I promise!' He was practically bouncing in the bed at this point. I pulled the packet out of my bag with an over dramatic flourish. Jeremy squealed in delight and squirmed himself under my arm.

'White chocolate and raspberry?!'

'OF COURSE!' I replied tugging him closer into my side. I opened the packet and pulled one out and proceeded to break it in half. We both stuffed a huge bite into our mouths and chewed loudly.

'Are you always eating cookies?' Damon's voice floated in from the doorway where he was leaning. He was trying to hide it but I could tell that he was slightly more tense than he had been before he came in.

'OF COURSE!' Jeremy answered before I had the opportunity. He followed his statement by shoving another piece of cookie into his mouth. I laughed at him through the mouthful of cookie I was still chewing.

'Well cookies are mine and Jeremy's thing.' I said to Damon. He chuckled lightly and moved into the room, shutting the door behind him.

'Are you Lena-Bell's new friend?!' Jeremy was bouncing again and began to reach for the cookie bag. 'Would you like a cookie as well?!'

'Damon, this is my brother Jeremy.' Jeremy was now waving a cookie across the bed to where Damon was sitting in the chair.

'Sure Buddy I'd love one! Hey, I'm Damon, I'm your sister's only cool friend.' he winked at Jeremy before reaching out for the cookie. Before he could get it though Jeremy pulled it out of reach.

'You're only allowed it if you sit on the bed Damon! Lena why didn't you tell him the rules?!'

'Sorry buddy I forgot! Damon if you want that cookie you're gonna have to get on the bed.'

Damon laughed before walking over to the bed, he bit his lower lip as he studied the limited amount of space. No cookies for him I thought victoriously. He suddenly slid his hands beneath me and lifted me up. I screamed out while Jeremy giggled on the bed. When I was finally settled on the bed again I was sitting between Damon's legs and I could hear him chewing triumphantly on the cookie. Cocky asshole. I turned on my side to look at Jeremy and pointed a finger at him.

'Don't encourage him Jeremy! He's bad enough as it is!'

'I like you Damon! You make Lena laugh, she's normally so frowny around everyone else.' Jeremy did a really over dramatic frown as he spoke before taking the half of the cookie I offered him.

'I'm happy I have your approval buddy.'

'Are you Lena's boyfriend? Do you love her?' I nearly spat out my cookie at these words.

'No buddy I'm not.' Damon said shaking his head laughing. 'I only met her a week ago.'

'Then why do you stare at her all the time?' At this statement I had to add my opinion the conversation.

'Because he's a creepy stalker Jer.'

'What's a stalker?'

'Damon.'

'I don't get it!'

'Don't worry bud I'll explain it to you some other time.' I said stroking his hair. He was already getting tired, I knew he wouldn't last long but this was shorter than I expected. The seizure must have been a big one and taken more out of him than usual.

'Thanks Lena-Bell.'

'Anything for you Buddy.' His eyes started drooping and I knew that this was our cue to leave.

'Damon and I are gonna go and let you sleep now okay? I love you Jeremy.' I whispered into his ear before kissing his forehead. I pulled myself out of Damon's lap and grabbed my bag. I could feel the tears forming in my eyes but was determined not to cry in front of my little brother or Damon.

Damon brushed the hair back from Jeremy's forehead before climbing off the bed and walking to the door with me. I smiled at him and pulled the door open casting one last look over my shoulder at the small sleeping form of my brother before heading towards the elevator. We waited for it to arrive in silence and when the doors finally pinged open we stepped inside, Damon seemingly cautious of what I was going to do.

'Can we go for that joint now please.' I asked staring at the metal doors.

'Yeah. Yeah we can.'


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: Hey Everyone! Just thought I'd post this before my birthday on the 2nd (yay!) SOrry if its a little mundane at the beginning but I hope it picks up at the end. As always review, I'm so grateful for the kind reviews I have received so far. Thanks! (Disclaimer: I own nothing) xoxo_

I could barely keep my eyes open, the joint was doing its job. This had become my ritual every time Jeremy went into hospital: visit him and then go and get stoned on the roof of my building. When he had his first big seizure I passed out up here and woke up late the next morning freezing. My head rolled to the side and I studied the profile of Damon 'Dreamy eyes' Salvatore, I will forever regret the fact that I talk in my sleep.

'You're beautiful.' I murmured, my mind was so hazy I couldn't be sure how loud I was speaking. My hand reached up and tentatively stroked the side of his face and down his jaw. I watched as his eyelids drooped shut completely, the sensation combined with the haziness of the drugs overwhelming. I very slowly and clumsily lifted myself onto my left had side so I could face him fully. A sudden idea came into my head and I threw my right leg over his hips and pulled myself up so I was straddling him. He made a slight grunt of complaint but didn't bother attempting to move me. I laid down so my head was resting on his chest and allowed my arms to creep into his hair. Slowly I began to massage his scalp, a deep groan vibrated from inside his chest and passed across to mine. I completely understood that groan, having a head massage while stoned is one of the most awe-inspiring things. In response his hands slipped underneath my my slip and began rubbing circles into my lower back. We were both purring, our eyes closed as we just enjoyed the feeling of our dual movements.

'What happened to your siblings?' I whispered quietly into his vest and when he didn't respond straight away I placed a gentle kiss there to show that I understood if he didn't want to talk about.

'My sister was still born.' The words were whispered into my hair and his hands began to travel up and down my back.

'She was in an awkward position and she starved of oxygen during the birth. I was six so I don't really remember many of the details, just the basics that my parents explained to me afterwards.' The brush of his lips against my scalp with each word he spoke made my stomach turn at the reality of the situation. He inhaled my hair deeply before he continued.

'I was separated from my brother Stefan by the adoption agency when I was ten and he was seven. I haven't seen or heard from him since.' I allowed one arm to slide down his head and loop behind his neck, trying to hold him in a tighter embrace than we were already arranged in. With my free hand I pulled his left hand from my back and intertwined our fingers before pressing a kiss to his knuckles. It wasn't all of the details but I understood that he didn't want to share more.

We stayed like this for a few hours. His hand stroking the bare skin of back, my fingertips twined in the tips of his hair and my lips occasionally tasting the skin of his hand. Both of us grieving his losses.

'Would you like to sleep here this evening?' I queried as the sun began to set.

'On the roof?'

'No I meant my apartment, this roof is not nice to sleep on. Trust me. But I don't mind sleeping up here if you can't be bothered to move.' He chuckled at this and ran his fingers through my hair.

'Your bed sounds quite nice right now.' He spoke into my hair before sitting upright with me still clung around him like a vine. It suddenly dawned on my now sobering mind that this was the position we had been in when we kissed last week. The universe sure is kind that way. Apart from the fact that this time instead of kissing me he was trying not to drop me as he stood and I nuzzled my face further into his body. I began wondering what soap and laundry detergent he used and if he dry cleaned his clothes or just washed them at home.

A few minutes later I awoke from a drowsy sleep to him knocking on the door of my apartment. I listened as Caroline pulled open the door and realised who was on the other side.

'What the hell happened?' she snapped although her voice sounded slightly slurred, she was probably drunk.

'She's just tired.' Damon whispered as I clung to him tighter, my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. I felt us move further into the apartment and after some awkward shuffling I finally landed on the soft mattress of my bed. Hmmm my bed had never felt so comfortable. I felt Damon tug my boots off of my feet, followed by my socks. He moved on to the button and zipper on my shorts but before he took them off he spoke.

'I'm not trying to fuck you...honestly.' He chuckled slightly but I was too tired and emotionally drained to open my eyes and respond so I simply moaned out a scrambled version of words.

'Hmm suhkee, I duhn't caaere.' He laughed again and this time undid my shorts and pulled them down my legs. I managed to be compliant enough to help him remove my slip but after that I simply crashed back towards the mattress. The new information from Damon coupled with the effects of the joint were too overwhelming to try and deal with at that moment.

After a few minutes I felt bare legs twine with mine, a bare chest against my back and an arm around my waist pulling me tighter towards the body behind me. I began to stroke my hand up and down his arm, it would flinch ever so slightly every time I ran over a scar but I just ignored it until I finally wrapped my fingers around his and began to fall asleep. Just before I reached unconsciousness I heard Damon whisper into my hair.

'Don't worry kooky, I'm gonna take all of your pain away.'

I rolled over the next morning and wrapped my arms around Damon. I can feel his boxers and I know I'm wearing my underwear so there is no danger that we had sex and I don't remember it. I laid my head on his chest and threw my left leg over his hips. Now I was comfortable. Damon's chest vibrated beneath me as he made noises of contentment in his sleep. I'm used to waking up with a guy in my bed after seeing Jeremy in hospital. I always get stoned and then go out searching for someone to have sex with, in reality I just want the ability to have a body to hug throughout the night when I wake up scared about my little brother. Damon's fingertips ran up my spine as we both enjoyed the simple intimacy of the sleepy embrace.

Everything was serene until I moved my leg and it grazed over his huge morning bulge in his boxers. Damon hissed through his teeth while I burst out giggling. I ducked under the cover to better inspect the situation, still giggling away.

'Lena, what are you doing?' Damon's voice was urgent above me. I lifted the elastic waistband of his boxers to take a peek at his engorged penis. It was huge and very, very hard.

'Ouch, that does not look like fun.' I laughed before pinging the elastic back and climbing out from under the sheets.

'I can't believe you just looked at my penis! I feel so violated!' Damon said, dramatically throwing his arm over his eyes from fake embarrassment.

'Oh don't worry, you have a very beautiful penis, nothing to be embarrassed about.' I laughed at him again and patted him on the head.

'I'll give you a towel to drape in front of you when you go to shower.' I giggled again.

'We don't want Caroline laughing at your pain as well now do we?'

'You are gonna pay for this kooky.' Damon lifted his arm and glared down at me. He smirked and suddenly dug his fingers into my side so I started spasming everywhere. The bastard did not just tickle me.

'Damon...j..just..to w..warn you, I..I haven't..pe..peed yet th..this morning.' I managed to get this out through the weird cackling giggling sounds coming from my mouth. At this statement his hands flew back from my body and he laid down again. Aahh the old 'I'm going to pee' ploy works every time. He closed his eyes as if he was planning on sleeping again.

'Don't even think about faking sleep, because there is no way you can sleep with that beast raging.' I stated reaching to stroke his boxers as I spoke to prove my point. He shuddered and lifted one eye open to look at me.

'What do you think you're doing?'

'Well I was gonna help your little buddy here out.'

'Firstly there is nothing "little" about my buddy, and secondly you don't need to do that.' I hopped on top of him and straddled his waist quickly. He wasn't the only one who was horny this morning. I pinned his arms over his head and leant down to his ear.

'But what if I want to. Please.' I whispered into the shell of his ear, licking it lightly with my tongue as I did. Sexy I can do, romance, meh not so much. He shuddered when my tongue touched his skin and swallowed deeply before answering.

'Well, seeing as you asked so polite...Jesus Lena.' The moment I sensed he was saying yes I reached into his boxers and grabbed a hold of his thick erection, effectively cutting his response short.

I began to pump my hand up and down slowly, wanting to savour the pleasurable expression on his features. My tongue travelled down from his ear and along the stubble of his jaw and I softly bit down on his chin. As I bit down I squeezed a little tighter on his cock and a deep groan reverberated through his chest. I slowly kissed down his torso, occasionally letting the tip of my tongue peek out and graze his chest, all the while keeping up my languid hand movements on his cock. He began panting for air when I reached the trail of hair that disappeared under his boxers. I liked along the trail and slowly folded down the elastic of his boxers with my teeth and hands. He groaned again watching me and I smirked at him from between his thighs. His hard and throbbing cock was now resting near his belly button, the top was leaking pre cum and I locked eyes with him as I slowly licked him from base to tip.

'Fuck!' The word was ripped from his chest as he grasped at the sheets, having no idea how sexy he looked to me right now. I began to alternate between sucking hard on the tip and running my tongue along the underside. The next time I peeked up he was basically shaking and actually looked like he was in pain. His scrunched up eyes flew open when he felt me moving up from his crotch to take off my panties. I giggled at the fearful look on his face and licked my lips as I climbed back up his body. The moment he registered what I was doing his jaw dropped slightly and his hands flew to my hips. I grasped his cock and ran the weeping tip along my wet folds.

'Jesus Lena, you're killing me here.' I finally conceded and sank down onto him, both of us letting out a deep grown.

'Fuck..no...no one has..ever been...this..deep.' I pant as I roll my hips. He held onto my back and sat up, taking me by surprise. I moaned loudly at the change of position.

'How about now?' He whispered against my lips. I could feel every inch of him pulsing inside of me and when I lifted off him and sank back down we both groaned in pleasure. For the first time during sex for me he held my gaze, our foreheads pressed together and when one of us started to moan the other would kiss them to capture the noises. It was one of the most intimate moments of my life,After a few more times he began to thrust up into my every time I started my descent. I threw my head back at the sensation, the onslaught of pleasure was unbearable. Damon saw this as an opportunity to claim my hard nipple and ripped the cup of my bra down to do so.

'Da..Damon..oh my god..' I kept panting and finally let out a deep shuddering moan as the sensations overwhelmed me and I came, hard around his cock. The second my walls tightened around him Damon's teeth tightened on my nipple and he stilled inside me, letting out a long groan as he came.

Unable to sit up anymore he fell back against the mattress taking me with him. Our ragged breaths were the only noises to be heard and I managed to lift myself off of him and rolled the side, leaving one leg draped over him. He slipped out of me as I did so and seconds later I felt his release trickling out of me and drying on my thighs.

'I normally just say good morning to house guests.' He panted.

'Yeah well I am a bit kooky I guess.'


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: Hi everyone thanks for the birthday wishes and kind reviews! This is sort of a filler but I hope you like it, I will post the follow up soon. Please review and tell me what you think. Thanks!(Disclaimer: I own nothing) xoxo _

'I really, really needed that.' I said through a giggle as I ran my fingers through the trail of hair low on Damon's stomach.

'Glad I could be of service.' He mumbled sleepily while stroking my lower back.

'Mmmh, I'm hungry now.' I announced and abruptly sat up from my place on his stomach, he did a big over dramatic groan before reaching out to grab my naked waist.

'Nooo, stay, I'm all comfy and warm.' I looked over my shoulder at him and the big pout he was fashioning. I pulled on his vest from the day before before tapping him on the nose and crawling up from my bed.

'Sorry Salvatore you gotta get up.' I dramatically pulled the sheet off of his naked form and turned to leave the room. As I walked into the living room I heard him call out after me.

'You expect me to be able to get through breakfast while you're standing there in my vest with no panties on?!' I laughed and lit a cigarette before sashaying through to the kitchen. There was a note from Caroline pinned on the fridge.

_Good Morning Lena-Bell! _

_ Sounds like you're feeling much better this morning ;)_

_ Bekkah and I went out for the day, might be home later._

_ Care xoxo_

_ P.S. And you say I'm loud!_

I laughed at her note and was about to screw it up and throw it away when the first notes of 'Love Man' by Otis Redding burst through the speakers.

'You're not Patrick Swayze, Salvatore.' I laughed at him from the kitchen door as he danced on the coffee table in nothing but boxers. My mouth dried out when I focussed on his hip movements and how sexy his dancing actually was. He beckoned me to the table with his finger and I ran and jumped up there.

'And you are most definitely not Baby.' He murmured as we began to dance together. Despite his comment I did feel exactly like I belonged in Dirty Dancing, we moved just like the dancers in the staff only area.

I swung my arms around his neck as our hips circled in time with one another. I shivered slightly as Damon's fingers trailed up the back of my thigh before firmly grasping it and lifting it around his waist. At the same time he dipped me and suddenly what had started as my idea of a fun dance it out session had turned into something far more sexual. Just as I realised this Damon placed a kiss right between my breasts, running his tongue up to my throat he glanced up. Something startled him however as he pulled away abruptly and righted me back to standing.

'Shit! Is that the time? Shit, shit shit shit.' I hear him say as he runs back to my room and begins to root around in the messenger bag on my bedroom floor. Wow, those dreamy eyes really do distract me from noticing stuff. He pulls out three pill bottles and hurriedly unscrewed and popped the lids off of the different pots. When he had finally poured out the pills into his hand there were four lying in his palm. He rose quickly from the floor and breezed straight past me to the kitchen, throwing the pills in his mouth as he went. I peered around the kitchen door and watched him fill and down a glass of water. Well this is a new turn of events. I always forget the suicide thing when we are together because he is always so cocky and confident, but this is a harsh reminder of the fact that he did try to kill himself and that there is more to him than the cockiness.

Otis Redding carried on playing in the background as I stubbed out my cigarette and walked into the kitchen to join him. I hopped up onto the kitchen counter and the sudden noise made him whirl around from the sink to face me.

'Sorry Kooky, I'm supposed to take them at the same time every day.' The happy and confident man who was dancing on my table a few minutes before had disappeared and in his place stood someone tired and pained. I motioned for him to come towards me with my finger and with a sigh he walked over and stood between my open legs. His hands rested on my hips and his head buried in my chest. I ran my hands through his hair while contemplating what to say to him.

'Its okay Damon, I understand. Something had to stop you from acting like Patrick Swayze anyway.' I teased him and bent down to kiss his hair. I felt him chuckle against my chest and the mood suddenly changed as he began to place kisses along the exposed skin of my chest. I inhaled deeply as his hands passed underneath his vest and grabbed the flesh of my naked behind. He was now focussed on one patch of skin at the top of my breast and as he sucked and marked that piece of flesh his nails dug into my behind and he roughly pulled me to the edge of the counter. I was now panting above him, revelling in his slightly rough treatment. With no care for his top or being tender he pulled down the sleeves of his vest so that my breasts fell out to his awaiting mouth. His top was now bunched around my hips, the rest of me completely bare to him.

'Agh' I cried as his lips tightened around my nipple and he bit down lightly. My fingers twisted and tightened in his hair as he carried on working. In this moment I decided that if we ever have sex again I will always let him lead, I mean being in control is sexy and empowering but him doing this is making me so wet that I know I don't want to have sex any other way ever again. His mouth finally left my chest and travelled to my mouth biting down on my lower lip. I groaned again and I'm pretty sure the noise I made had never been produced from my chest before. I could feel his erection pressing against me intimately and I thought I'd come right there and finally I felt his warm hand pressing against my clit and his fingers pushing into me.

'Holy shit, Damon.' I panted into his shoulder as he began to crook them inside me. He his one specific spot and I had to bite down on his shoulder from the pleasure.

'Oh my god Damon, fuck me, fuck me now, please, oh my god.' I was shocked at myself. I NEVER beg in bed. I'm always seductress or just taken but he was doing things to me that I had never experienced before. Damon didn't answer but I felt his hand and fingers leave me and seconds later without warning he thrust into me, hard. I through my head back against the kitchen cupboards at the sensation, the feeling of fullness. I'd stop smoking weed if I could have this everyday.

The pace he established was unforgiving and I kept one hand anchored on his back while the other clung to the shelf next to me. I'm pretty sure I was screaming by this point, thrashing beneath him as he bit and licked my lips, my earlobe, my chest. He was everywhere and I didn't know how to take it.

'Oh..Oh my god...holy shit Damon..Damon..Da..Oh my god I'm coming.' I practically screamed as my orgasm overtook me, my legs shaking in his hands, my bare breasts arched into his chest an my head thrashing against the cupboard. However to my dismay, or delight, Damon wasn't finished, he slowed down his thrusts and pulled me off of the counter and threw me on the kitchen table. I barely noticed what was happening, still in the thrall of my orgasm. He hoisted my legs up so my calves linked behind his neck and grabbed my hips as he began to re-establish his pace. The new position meant he was hitting my G-spot every thrust and I felt another and more powerful orgasm building inside me. He was holding my hips completely off of the table as he continued to thrust. Finally after a few more thrusts I exploded, literally, my G-spot orgasm was overwhelming, liquid poured out of me and down his cock as a screamed and thrashed on the table, my legs locked around his neck. While I was still in the midst of my overwhelming orgasm I felt him still and pour inside me and turn and bite into my thigh to stifle his own scream.

My legs fell from his shoulders and he slumped down on top of me, panting into my breasts.

'Wow.'

'Wow.' We both panted the word at the same time and I let out a giggle. He wrapped his arms around me and lifted me up, staying inside me and walked me back to my bedroom.

He finally slipped out of me and pecked me on the nose.

'I'll bring you some breakfast.' He murmured as he sat up. I couldn't move even if I wanted to and so I watched his naked behind travel to the kitchen. Just as he returned with a plate of Jam toast and a glass of Orange Juice, 'These arms of mine' came on over the speaker system and he smirked as set the food down. He looked a little nervous as if his display of primal lust in the kitchen was too much. I pulled him down to the bed and ran my fingertips up and down his arms, running over small scars on the path, however I reached his wrists and there was one roughly the same size and in roughly the same place on each wrist. I knew that these ones must have been from his suicide attempt, they were so much bigger and looked deeper. I lifted each wrist and kissed them in turn before smiling up at him.

'Will you tell me about it some day?' I asked, not needing to refer to what 'it' was.

'Some day.' He nodded sombrely and pulled his arms from my grasp and watched him push the pain down into the recesses of his mind.

'Just be quiet and eat your breakfast Kooky.'


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N: SO SORRY for the long wait, I had the house to myself for the week and had people over all of the time so never had the opportunity to write, so I haven't had the chance until __today and I really wanted to get something out to you guys so that's why this chapter is slightly shorter. As always please review, they mean so much to me and make me so happy when I get an email saying someone has reviewed my story :) Thanks so much! xoxo (Disclaimer: I own nothing)_

_WARNING:_ _Some people may find some of this chapter upsetting (self harm)_

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'Oh my god, oh my god..oh..ah!' I screamed as Damon drove into me over and over again, my body sliding up and down on the hood of his car. Our innocent trip to the woods had quickly spiralled into something far more dirty. All I did was comment on the fact that his Camaro really added to the hot bad boy look he had going on, seconds later I was lying on its hood while he was ripping my panties from around my hips.

We had been like this for three weeks now, ever since the kitchen counter incident we began to spend more time together. I was still unsure if we were actually a couple or if we were both just in it for the mind-blowing sex. I didn't really care either way, because even though we had a strong physical connection, as was being demonstrated on the hood of his car in that moment, we rarely divulged anything too deep about ourselves. There was a sort of understanding between the two of us, neither pushed the other to say anything to them that exposed too much about them. We talked about our common interests such as music, art and literature and just the everyday facts about our lives. We were emotionally connected, I think, it was through actions that we could see how much we meant to one another. Whenever we were walking around he would reach out and hold my hand, brush his thumb over my knuckles and place a kiss to my palm.

These actions always confused me because even though it was extremely sweet of him it somehow felt to intimate, it displayed a level of intimacy that I didn't feel we had reached. But then again I was just as bad myself, when we laid in bed I would gently stroke his scars and kiss the deeper ones like I did that morning. Although part of me knew I didn't have the right to do this because he hadn't told me the story of them, the reasons behind them, why he had trips to the hospital every couple of weeks or what the pills he took every morning were.

I knew very little about Damon, apart from what he told me and the most I had opened up to him was when we went to visit Jeremy in the hospital. I didn't know if he was fucking other people, if he really liked me or if he just thought I was the kooky girl who was good for sex. This, for some annoying reason, really bugged me.

My thoughts about our arrangement came to an abrupt halt when he changed the angle and began to hit my G-spot over and over. Yeah, I was fine with the lack emotional intimacy.

Caroline and I were sitting at the coffee table making dreamcatchers when I received Damon's text telling me he wouldn't be able to come over this evening as planned. I frowned down at my phone but continued to weave the catcher together. Caroline was very bubbly at the moment despite the fact that she broke up with Tyler for Rebekah, who then declared that she wasn't ready to come out yet. I think Caroline was set on the belief that eventually Bekkah would come out and they would be together. I think she was delusional.

'Lena-Bell, you've messed it up!' Caroline quickly reached out and grabbed the half assembled dreamcatcher from my hand and began to fix it for me. She was completely normal this week, blonde hair, no make up, freckles free, she looked cute.

'Oh sorry,' I was distracted by Damon's text, he seemed very harsh and distant, he didn't call me kooky and there was no sarcastic comment or joke.

'Hey, Care, do you want to come with me to Damon's, I'm worried something isn't quite right.'

'Oh sure Lena, I'll just go change.' She hopped up from the rugs on the floor and ambled along to her bedroom. I was wearing Damon's vest, one he had left here when he stayed over, so I just pulled on my long fringed kimono and cowboy boots and stood fidgeting with my bag in the doorway.

'Okay Lena-Bell I'm ready!' Caroline yelled as she came running towards the front door.

When the car finally pulled up outside of Damon's apartment complex I suddenly felt nervous, like I was crossing an unspoken line. Despite my fears I pushed the car door open and stormed up the stairs towards damon's door. Caroline followed behind me, unusually silent. I knocked timidly on the door and heard Caroline shuffle around with the car keys behind me. The door finally inched open and I saw an eye, brown curly hair and stubble. It wasn't Damon.

'Can I help you?' The eye said with a strong British accent.

'Oh hi, er, I'm here to see Damon.' I mumbled, suddenly feeling very awkward.

'Oh okay, come in, he's in his room, you must be Elena.' He pulled the door open fully and revealed his full body, he was attractive and I heard a short inhale of breath behind me. Oh dear, Caroline's next victim.

'I'm Klaus, Damon's roommate, I've been away in London visiting family, that's why I've never been here before, I actually haven't seen him this evening, I only got back about half an hour ago.'

'Oh oka...'

'Hi I'm Caroline, Elena's friend.' Caroline interrupted me and pushed past me to shake his hand. Klaus smirked and placed a kiss on her knuckles and I knew that I wasn't going to get to talk to Klaus anymore this evening.

I shrugged and shuffled through the messy apartment to Damon's room, I could hear music from inside and decided that I wouldn't bother knocking. I opened his bedroom door and nothing prepared me for what I saw on the other side.

Damon was sitting on his bed staring silently at the wall while Simon and Garfunkel's 'America' began to sound out from the turn tables on his desk. His face was covered in blood, his eye swelling, his cheek cut and bruising, blood running down from his forehead. I gasped as I took in the state of his face but what disturbed me more were the tears. They were endlessly streaming down his face, mixing with the blood on his cheeks and trickling down his chin or simply dropping onto his legs. I couldn't move, I just stood there, watching as the tears carried on flowing, it was haunting, seeing him like this.

_Let us be lovers we'll marry our fortunes together,_

_I've got some real estate here in my bag_

_So we bought a pack of cigarettes _

_And Mrs Wagner's Pies,_

_And walked off to look for America._

He slowly turned to look at me his face weak and helpless and for the first time I let my vision stray from his face and that was when I saw it, two thin trails of blood originating at his inner elbow flowing down his arms. A sob broke free from my throat and he followed my gaze to his arm. I locked eyes with him and saw the pain and fear and how hopeless he felt as more tears streamed down his face.

_Cathy I said as we boarded a Greyhound in Pittsburgh_

_Michigan seems like a dream to me now_

_It took me four days to hitch hike from Saginaw_

_I've come to look for America._

I pushed the door shut behind me and took three big strides towards him, abandoning my bag to the floor on the way. I gingerly sat on the bed next to him and pulled him into my arms, resting his head against my chest. He released a a gut wrenching sob as I did so and I realised I didn't know what the fuck I was doing with this broken man in my arms. Deciding not to dwell too much on the thought I ran my hands through his hair has he began to sob again. Tears were streaming down my face as well and landing in his hair, he wrapped his arms around me and clawed at me, bringing me closer to him. Another sob broke from my throat as I felt the blood from his arms soak through my clothes and onto my bare skin.

_Laughing on the bus_

_Playing games with the faces_

_She said the man in the gabardine suit _

_Was a spy_

_I said be careful_

_his bow tie is really a camera._

_Toss me a cigarette_

_I think theres one in my raincoat._

_We smoked the last one an hour ago._

I was so out of my depth here, I didn't know what had happened and I was scared to ask him what else had happened in his current state, so I just held him while he sobbed. I could feel that the blood from his face was smeared all over my bare chest, mingled with his tears. I stared around the room, everything was still in its place.

_So I looked at the scenery,_

_She read her magazine_

_And the moon rose over and open field._

_Kathy I'm lost I said_

_Though I knew she was sleeping, _

_I'm empty and aching and_

_I don't know why._

He pulled back from me and I gazed down as he lifted off his shirt, he looked like lost child as he gazed up at me. I didn't break eye contact as he reached out for my hand and ran my fingertips along his chest, another sob broke from my throat as I felt warm liquid coat across my fingertips. Oh Damon what happened to you?

_Counting the cars_

_On the New Jersey Turnpike_

_The've all come_

_To look for America,_

_All come to look for America,_

_All come to look for America_

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_A/N: I hope that was okay I'm starting chapter 10 today as well :)_


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N: Hey everyone, 2 updates in one day! I hope you like this chapter and don't mind that I stopped when I did. Thanks so much for all of the reviews on chapter 9 I was overwhelmed by how nice everyone was! So I was thinking of doing a chapter from Damon's POV, would you all review and let me know what you think of that idea?! Thanks! (Disclaimer: I own nothing) xoxo_

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Through my sobs I began to panic, what the fuck happened? Who did this to his face? Why did he cut himself? I had to control my need to blurt out these questions. Now was not the time for my incessant need to speak whatever I'm thinking. Damon had stopped running my fingertips through the blood on his chest and instead just held my hand over his heart which I could feel beating erratically through his chest. I really wished I could just have a joint to try and calm down.

Damon's spare hand suddenly reached up and clasped the back of my neck and a bunch of hair, he gently pulled my head down to press against his chest. I could feel some blood trickle onto my cheek as he did so. The vinyl was now hissing in the background, reminding us that it needed to be turned and it was the only accompaniment to the sound of his beating heart.

'I stopped.' his hoarse whisper draws my attention away from the hissing record and his heart.

'I wanted to cut it out but I stopped.' Holy shit. I turned my face and placed a kiss on the flesh of his chest, not caring that I was getting blood over my lips. Damon's blood.

'I'm glad you did.' I whispered back against the skin. He was still crying, I could feel the droplets of tears on my head and I wished that I knew how to take the pain away for him.

'Can you stand up?' I asked, this time looking at his face. He nodded briefly through his tears and together, bloodied and crying we both stood from his bed. I was so grateful for Damon's en suite bathroom as I slowly began to move us towards the door. We finally made it through, the flow of blood on his bare chest slowed and was starting to dry, forming patterns that looked like tributaries in a river. I ushered him down onto the toilet seat where he sat, staring at me, seeing and unseeing all at the same time. I leant down and gently kissed his forehead with my eyes closed, praying that I could deal with this.

'I'm gonna run us a bath okay?' I said pulling away and looking into his eyes.

'Us?' Was all he could force out as a reply.

'Yes, Us. I'm going to clean us both up.' I smiled weakly at him and gently placed a kiss on his slightly swollen lip.

'You'll stay?' The desperate tone in his voice was something I never thought I would hear from him, my confident and cocky Damon was gone and all that sat in his place was a scared and helpless shell.

'As long as you want me.' I replied, resting my forehead against his. I stood up straight and peeled my kimono off leaving me in only his bloody vest and cowboy boots and made my way towards the bath. I started running the water and began smelling all of the soaps to find out which one smelt of him, when I finally found the matching masculine, musky scent I poured a generous amount into the slowly filling bath. Once I was sure that the temperature was right I perched on the edge of the bath and pulled off my boots and socks before making my way back over to him.

'I need you to stand so that I can take off your jeans.' I told him gently and slowly he stood from the toilet and let me remove his tear and blood stained jeans. He lifted his feet, allowing me to pull them off completely and I folded them and placed them next to my boots. I then pulled down his underwear and followed the same process. I stood and gazed at the beautifully broken, naked man before me, blood drying over his pale skin and I felt an overwhelming amount of emotion pass through me. I willed myself not to cry again and slowly reached for his hand and, clasping it in mine walked him towards the bath.

'It is gonna sting when you get in.' I informed him quietly and winced as he hissed through he teeth when the water touched his cuts. Oh shit should I have cleaned them first? Realising that it was too late now I turned off the taps and stripped out of my own clothes, watching as he sat quietly, staring down at his hands. I grabbed a cloth from by the sink and daintily climbed into the tub astride his legs. I looked up at him and he nodded his head, approving that I continue. I ran a hand through his hair and placed another light kiss on his lips.

'I'm so sorry but this is going to hurt.' I whispered before gently soaking the cloth in the water and pulling it out I raised it to his chest. Slowly I squeezed the cloth just above one of his cuts and allowed the water to run down over it. I gently dabbed the cloth over the cut, cringing when Damon inhaled harshly as I did so. I dunked the cloth into the water and tried to ignore the blood that leaked out into the water. I repeated the same process for all of the cuts on his chest as well as the ones on each of his arms, the water was now a murky, reddish-brown, but his chest was now clean and only the cuts remained.

'I'm gonna do your face now,okay?' I said as I slowly inched closer to his messy, beautiful face. He nodded and placed a hand on the bloodied skin of my chest.

'What about you?' Damon's whisper took me by surprise.

'No, its fine, I'll take care of myself in a minute.' I smiled at him before lifting his hand and kissing his fingertips and palm.

'Oh, Okay then.' Damon mumbled and I began to gently clean his face, dabbing at his swollen eye and lip. I slowly and carefully washed away any and all traces of blood I could find until he was clean. I then proceed to pour water over his messy and bloody hair before desperately hunting around for his shampoo. I lathered a sizeable amount in my hands and began to massage it into his scalp, trying to soothe away his tension and pain. I felt a wave of relief wash through me when I heard Damon make a small sound of satisfaction beneath me. I decided to leave his hair soapy while I quickly washed his blood away from my chest and face with the cloth. I could sense his eyes on me the entire time and suddenly felt very self conscious despite the fact that I had been sitting naked in the bath with him the whole time. When I had finally finished scrubbing my face I felt Damon's hand brush down the side of my face. I smiled gently at him before moving forward again to wash the shampoo out of his hair.

I finally stood up, pleased that I had cleaned us both and grabbed a towel from the rack next to the bath tub. Wrapping it around myself I hopped out of the bath and turned to him.

'Wait there just a second, I'm going to get us some clothes.' I muttered as I ran my hand through his hair and kissed his forehead. He nodded again and I ran into his bedroom and ransacked his chest of drawers until I found two pairs of underwear and two clean black t shirts. I then hopped over to the turn tables and changed the record to Pink floyd's 'Dark side of the moon' something calming and not too distracting. Finally I pulled the duvet back on his bed before running back into the bathroom with the pile of clothes. Damon was right where I left him holding his knees to his chest and looking down into the blood stained water.

'Hey, you okay to get out now?' I murmured holding both hands out for him, one was holding a towel while the other was there to help him climb out of the bath. He stood up and all of the dirty water swirled around the bath. I gently dried him with the towel while he stayed standing in the bath, taking extra care around his cuts which decided I would place plasters over when he was out of the bath. I motioned for him to step out of the bath and slowly and quietly followed my instruction. I tenderly reached up with the towel and began to dry his hair; timidly he bent his head forward and allowed me better access to the back of his head. When I was finished I smiled at his bruised face and wrapped the towel around his hips.

'There, all done.' I whispered.

'Thank you Lena.' he replied, looking down at me.

'Would you like me to disinfect and plaster up the cuts?' I ask quietly. He looked like a scared child and shook his head.

'I'd like to go to bed now please.'

'Okay, whatever you want. Oh here are your clothes.' I hold out the pile for him.

'Can I sleep like this?' and I swear I see a small blush spread across his cheeks.

'Of course Damon, I'm going to put a T-shirt on so I don't get cold though.' I smile and pull his top over my head.

When we walk back into his room the record is still playing quietly and when he has climbed into bed I turn the light off so it is just us and the music. I climb into the bed facing him and wonder what the fuck I am supposed to do next.


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N: Sorry this chapter took so long! It isn't even that long/good either, but I found out I got into the university I wanted! That, of course meant celebrations which ended in me getting a cold, I can't even..ANYWAY that is why this took so long, is short and not the best, but I really wanted to get something out to everyone. Gonna try and write chpt. 12 today as well and I think it will be in Damon's POV :) Review as always. Thanks! xoxo (Disclaimer: I own nothing) _

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I awoke the next morning sprawled across Damon's naked and now healed chest and decided to enjoy the moment of peace and intimacy before he woke up. Knowing that the second he did our weird "relationship" would be changed forever didn't sit well with me.

'Wait just a little bit longer.'

'_Wait! Just a little bit longer!'_

'_No kooky, I say we play it and we play it now!'_

'_Fine press play.' I huffed and flopped backwards on the bed. We were both in only our underwear yet felt completely comfortable, and I guess after the kitchen incident of six days ago there was no need to feel awkward._

'_If I vomit Salvatore you have to clean it up' Pointing at him as I spoke. He gave me a pointed look and handed me two bottles of beer. Why did I get myself into these situations? I was already swaying a bit and my mind was very clouded but I still let him convince me to do this. Stubbing out my cigarette I reached over for the first bottle as Damon pressed play on the CD player._

'_Ready kooky?' _

'_Yeah, yeah whatever Salvatore.' I slurred out before he chuckled and pecked me on the nose._

'_ROXAAANNEE' _

'_Drink kooky!' oh my god why did I get myself into?_

'_I'm drinking, I'm drinking!' I slurred, man I really didn't want to play this game. As much fun as it was to drink every time Sting wailed out Roxanne I was becoming increasingly distracted by Damon's state of undress. An idea began to form in my head and I began to crawl across the bed towards him._

'_No kooky...No sexy-times, we're still playing the game.'_

'_Sexy-times, seriously? Sexy-times? Salvatore you have reached new levels of immaturity.'_

'_Well I do try for you Kooky.' He smirked before he began drinking in sync with the chorus of the song. This was going to be harder than I first thought. I couldn't help it if I felt the need to touch him all of the time, especially when he was only in his underwear. Crawling into his lap despite his protests and attempts to shrink away I leant down to whisper into his ear._

'_But I want you inside of me, baby.' Biting his earlobe as I finished the line. I wanted to be joined with him, share that closeness, the intimacy that I had never experienced before him._

'_I want to feel you...Everywhere.' I was so sure this would work, I even ran my tongue around the shell of his ear for good measure. Damon placed his beer bottle to the ground and flopped backwards on the bed taking me with him, dizzy and giggling. My internal victory dance was halted however when he rolled over, taking me with him. Was he star-fishing me? _

_'There you go, now do you feel me everywhere?' He slurred into my ear. His weight crushing into my chest. Who'd have thought? Damon Salvatore: star-fishing expert extraordinaire._

_'Not quite everywhere..' I wheezed out. His weight shifted above me and he shifted his arms so we were holding hands, his thumbs running along my skin._

'_There is that better?' He sighed contentedly into my hair before running his nose down my neck inhaling deeply. Gently rubbing his hands as well I nuzzled into his neck and softly kissed the skin there. Knowing that I wasn't gonna get any sex tonight and Damon was about to pass out from the alcohol I decided to let it go and just try and roll him off of me._

'_Yeah thats much better.' I murmured into his skin. We laid like that for a while, inhaling the scent of each other's neck until his weight became unbearable and I had to roll him off. When all that happened was a rough grunt I had to giggle before deploying my second plan of action: wriggle. Slowly but surely I pulled myself out from underneath him and drew in some well needed oxygen. A mumbled version of my name came from his side of the bed and I felt an arm grasping out for my waist. _

_'Hmm.'_

'Hmm.' Oh shit. No no no no. I needed more time to prepare for his reaction when he woke up and instead I thought about him star-fishing me. The even rise and fall of his chest under my cheek notified me that he was, in fact, still sleeping. An internal debate began to rage in my head. Do I sneak out? I had no clue what I was going to say to him when he woke up and I had a weird idea that if I just laid as still as possible then he would never wake up and our "relationship" wouldn't have to face the aftermath of last night. Not being able to sink to the point of sneaking out I decided to choose cowardly option number two: pretend to be sleeping. The second I felt his body stir beneath me my eyes flew shut, my mind unwilling to face reality and in complete objection of the idea of seeing him after the night before. I began to develop a thought in my head, my cowardice was good, it gave him tim to deal with what was going on, move past any embarrassment and prepare himself to open up to me.

I continued my forced breathing pattern and illusion of sleep even when he began to slide out from underneath me. Outwardly I appeared calm and rested, the internal situation was a different matter, I think I must have screamed FUCK twenty times in a row every time he managed to remove a part of himself from beneath me.

It felt as if all hope had been lost when I felt the bed shift and him stand up from the mattress. If it wasn't for the gentle hand running through my hair or the kiss on the forehead I would have thought I had lost him completely. When I heard him start dressing I stretched my eye open slowly and pretended to wake up.

He wasn't facing me and was therefore unaware that I was watching him as he hastily pulled on his jeans and a T-shirt.

'Hey.' I mumbled as I sat up on my elbows.

'Oh, hey Lena, look I gotta go, sorry but I'm really late..' At the first signs of him trying to avoid this and run I hopped onto my knees on the bed and crawled to the edge, towards him.

'Damon, don't.'

'Don't what?'

'Run out and pretend like nothing happened..'

'I'm not.'

'Oh Damon, you really are though, maybe we could just..'

'NO ELENA! Not all of us are like you, we don't have this weird, kooky mind where we think it is okay to just say whatever we are thinking and get people around us to purge or share something through some stupid game! Welcome to the real world, sometimes people don't just want to play games and twirl around everywhere..'

'That's not wha..'

'Look I have to go, okay? Bye.' He finished sharply as he tugged on his shirt and stormed out, slamming every door behind him.

Well, that could have gone better.


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N: Hello! First of all thank you so much for all of the lovely reviews for the last chapter, I'm gonna reply to you all as soon as I can. Secondly I hope you all like Damon's POV, I really enjoyed writing it, almost found it cathartic. Anyway, review and tell me what you think, as always, thanks! xoxo (Disclaimer: I own nothing)_

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I sometimes think about the thoughts of others. I think about her thoughts, her mind, what is going through it when she is going through daily activities. Is she thinking of what she'll make for dinner and the chores she has to do? Or is she thinking about the current book she is reading or the next poem she will write? Is she thinking about me? God I hope she is thinking about me. If I had my way her mind would suffer like mine, constantly playing her image. Her smiling face is branded across my eyesight, her giggle entered my ears and grew throughout my body like a poisonous plant, desperately grasping at any place left untouched by her. Her actions mesmerise me, I wish I could commit them all to memory and then replay them so I can marvel at her natural grace. Of all her qualities though, by far her greatest asset is her mind, her quirky, weird, kooky mind. She thinks and acts so spontaneously and it is enthralling to watch; she twirls and runs around everywhere in a bubble, a bubble that she has trapped me in with her. She is emotionally reserved, yet surprisingly forthright at times. She is innocent and seductive at the same time. Kooky one minute and highly articulate and intelligent the next.

She is pure beauty.

These are the thoughts that plagued me as I stormed down the hallway away from her. Elena. This girl who I had managed to develop deep feelings for, this messed up, kooky, amazing girl. And I just yelled at her and insulted her.

Fuck...Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck.

I don't even know why I did it. I just couldn't talk to her about everything this morning, I was mortified about the night before. Only doctors and Alaric have ever seen me in that state. Despite the fact that everyone knows about last year I still don't want people to see me in the middle of a depressive state.

Fuck.

I needed her again now, like I needed her last night. Walking out on her seemed like the easiest way to avoid the conversation, the awkwardness, the embarrassment. The only problem was that I now needed her again. Sliding down the wall with my head in my hands I thought about how she looked after me. She suddenly abandoned her entire kooky personality and became this mature, powerful, headstrong, amazing woman and my feelings for her had deepened to a greater level than I had ever wanted them to.

Fuck.

The cuts on my chest were really throbbing, a constant reminder of the pain of last night and the tenderness of her actions. For someone who had never experienced intimacy, last night was one of the most intimate and tender moments of my life. Her touch alone soothed and healed me and when I felt her tears drip onto my bare skin I felt bound to her in some way. I felt closer to her than I had to anyone in my life, including my adoptive and biological parents. As I buried my eyes further into my hands all I could see was her. Elena. Elena. Elena. Her hair. Her eyes. Her smile. Her twirling on the sofa. I began to freak, thinking that I would never be able to move forward with her. I couldn't talk to her about everything and I'd insulted her.

Fuck.

I heard a door shut down the hallway and heavy, yet light footsteps approach. Her footsteps. Those stupid cowboy boots, why is the sound they make so distinctive? I'm guessing she saw me because the footsteps came to an abrupt halt. I still wasn't sure if I wanted her to sit with me or if I wanted her to carry on walking. She made the decision for me when she came and slid down the wall next to me. I felt her small hands lightly coast along my hunched over shoulders but I still didn't look up from the darkness of my palms. I was safe in my palms, I wouldn't have to talk to her and ruin everything.

To my surprise I felt her breath on the back of my neck, shortly followed by a gentle kiss there. Why did she have to be gentle and understanding? Why couldn't she be freaked out and run.

'We don't have to talk if you don't want to.' She whispered against my skin and I could swear I heard nerves in her voice. Oh my god, why have I made the one person that I actually care about nervous? She began to pepper kisses along my neck and shoulder all the while my breathing into my hands became heavier and heavier. My emotions were racing around, never settling. Was I angry because she wanted to solve this with sex? Was I aroused because of her actions? Was I happy she gave me the choice? Was I overwhelmed with joy that she didn't walk past me?

Well I know for definite that the last one is yes but the other emotions were causing a mass internal conflict.

'Damon...you..you're shaking.'

Fuck, why does she sound that nervous? where has my confident, kooky girl gone? Did I destroy her? I knew that all I needed to do was look up from my hands and the whole situation would be a lot easier but I still wasn't ready to face her.

'I understand why you don't want to look at me...It..It's okay.'

How did she manage to sound so understanding and nervous all at the same time? Wow, I've really freaked her out.

'We can go back' I finally managed to mumble out into my hands. Slowly I felt a small smile creep along her face on the skin of my neck.

'I'd like that.' Came her response, whispered against my skin again.

The thought of seeing her smile gave me the strength to lift my head from its resting place. Her's followed and lifted from my neck and when I turned to face her all I saw was her beauty; internal and external. It radiates from within her, flowing out and lighting up her skin and eyes. I didn't think about my actions, but I couldn't help but run my hand through her hair and pull her face to mine.

It stung when her lips brushed against the cut on my lip but I didn't care, I needed her, I needed her to anchor me, reassure me. She gently ran her hands up my arms, minding the cuts and scars and rested them around the nape of my neck. She understood that it wasn't about sex or lust. Just like our first kiss, this was about intimacy. Or breaths were heavy in the silence of the hallway, I think we both needed it, I needed to try and apologise. For being a dick this morning, for being a freak last night and for not making it clear how much what she did meant to me.

It meant everything to me.

When we finally finished we sat facing one another, eyes closed, foreheads grazing, taking in the enormity of what was about to come. She'd have to be serious. I'd have to be honest.

I was petrified.

After a silent yet bearable walk back to my apartment and room we laid on the bed. I faced the ceiling, I didn't want to face her, not yet anyway.

'Where do you want me to start?'

'Wherever you want Damon. It's your story not mine.'

'Last night?'

'If that is what you want then yes, last night.'

I was boiling, it happens whenever I get nervous, I begin to overheat, sweat. Without prior warning I pulled my top over my head and unbuttoned my jeans. Content that I no longer felt suffocated I began to mentally prepare myself and search my brain with where to start.

'My father came over.'

The words finally left my mouth after what felt like hours of silence between us.

'My adoptive father.'

I continued to stare blankly at the ceiling but felt her tiny fingers wrap around mine.

'It started off as a normal visit. He turned up, uninvited of course, and started yelling at me about hospital appointments and the money I was costing him and my carelessness. The usual, you know?...Anyway, he yelled for a bit, spouting off the same shit as usual about how they didn't send me to university for it all to be unappreciated and wasted. Then he moved onto a new territory,' I swallowed deeply.

'He said "Sometimes I wish we had opted for that scrawny brother as well, at least then we'd have more to expect than disappointment." Now the stuff about disappointing them didn't bother me, I was used to it. The information about my brother, about the fact that they could have kept us together but didn't, it crushed me. All I have wanted is a connection to my true family, just my brother, the only other survivor. They denied me that connection when they separated us. I remember I stood up then and started yelling that at him. Telling him about all of he suffering their selfishness had caused me. Thats when he did it. Het punched me. Over and over and over again. I think he had been drinking but...you know? He was yelling about how heartless and pathetic I was the entire time, saying how I didn't deserve the life they had given me. He finally stopped when he realised that I couldn't take it anymore and he just...left. I sat there for a while and then I got up to...to..go and get the blades from the bathroom. I cut on my arms in the..er...usual place and way. But as I was doing it I started to think bout what he had said to me, about my heart and he was right. I don't have a heart, it left with my family and even if it is there I don't have anyone to give it to, no one to share it with. So I began to think that...that..er...that I might as well just cut it out, save the trouble of it hurting more, save the trouble of me hurting more. My hands were really shaky at first and I kept nicking the skin of my chest but when I reached my heart and began to cut around it...all I felt was peace, peace and hope, the pain and suffering would end for everyone, it would no longer be in the way. But then...then I thought about my brother and the fact that if I did carry on and cut out my heart I'd never be able to see him again, never be able hug him or reminisce about our parents with him and that thought scared me more than anything else. I'd carry this useless heart in my chest if I got to see him again...so I stopped...and then you came in and you showed me more kindness and tenderness than I have ever experienced and I never thanked you and I need to say that. Thank you, Lena, for everything.'

My stare on the ceiling never wavered, even when I felt her sit up and move closer to me. I didn't look away when she leant down to my chest. I didn't even glance down when she began to kiss the cuts there, gently caring over each of them. I tried not to look into her eyes when she loomed over me, her hair a curtain around us, but then she leant down and gently placed her lips against mine and I surrendered. I surrendered to her.

'You're welcome.'


	13. Chapter 13

_A/N: Again I apologise for the wait! I'm sorry that this is sort of just a filler but even still there is something I really enjoyed about writing it, its quite sensual. As always THANK YOU SO MUCH for your kind reviews they really do make my day and keep me motivated. Anyway review and let me know what you think about this chapter! :) xoxo_ _(Disclaimer:I own nothing)_

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'You make me forget.'

She was lying on her front in my bed, her naked breasts crushed into the sheets beneath her. Her chin perched on her folded arms and her hair pulled over her shoulder. I don't think she understands how much she effects me, how much I need her when I see her, because I've realised that. I've realised that after the other night that I don't just want her, I need her.

'Forget what?'

'Everything.'

I ran my lips across her bare back as I spoke, barely grazing her skin. When I reached the dip of her lower back I gently ran my tongue out and marvelled at the goosebumps that rose on her skin and the shudder that ran through her. She was exquisite. She was mine. We hadn't actually discussed the exclusivity of our relationship but it is sort of unspoken that we don't date anyone else.

My lips continued past the sheet and over her right butt cheek, grazing and breathing over the soft, tanned skin there.

'You're perfection.' I whispered against her skin on the curve of her cheek.

'Apart from the big, blotchy birthmark that kind of looks like a banana on my left butt cheek.' She commented over her shoulder through a giggle.

'Let me investigate this further.' I slid across to her other cheek and found it, this dark stain on the top of the cheek.

'Hey you're right it kind of does look like a banana.' The both of us laughed and I felt her reach out and attempt to slap me on the head.

The light, fun mood suddenly shifted when I traced the tip of my tongue over and around the mark. I then proceeded to retrace my path with my tongue until I reached her uncovered shoulder where I placed a gentle kiss.

'Turn over..' I whispered into the shell of her ear and lifted myself up so she could roll onto her back. Her exquisite beauty was laid out beneath me and I continued my path, trailing my lips and tongue down from her shoulder. I crossed her breasts and circled each pert nipple with my tongue, goosebumps rose across the surface as her chest began to rise and fall with the depth of her breaths.

'I worship you.' I whispered these words over her navel and marvelled at the way in which her stomach muscles spasmed and clenched from trying to control herself. There was a great feeling of pride forging within me, I reduced this quirky, loud girl to a silent, quivering mess. The words were true, I do worship her, her body, her mind, everything. Her perfection is something that I can only adore and, well, worship.

'Da..Damon.' the words brokenly stumbled out of her mouth as my lips reached the dark curls that covered her. They actually made her more attractive in my eyes, more womanly, I'd throw a fit if she went all hollywood porn star on me.

'Yeah?' I smirked as my breath ghosted over her and my lust for her climbed when I could see she was already wet. Before she got the chance to answer I ran my tongue along her lightly. A gasp flew from above my and her hips wriggled as she parted her legs to accommodate my shoulders. I loved doing this, it was the one way I could really show her how much I really did worship her. When she was finally comfortable I resumed my previous position, running my tongue along her and relishing in the way she squirmed beneath me. Soon I felt fingers thread into my hair and heard moans begin to flow out of her mouth. Deciding to grant her some mercy I tapped my tongue against her clit.

'HOLY SHIT!' Her sensitivity and surprised reaction lead to her hips flying off of the bed. I held them down before returning my attention to her clit, sucking and gently nibbling on it and when I applied just that little more pressure, she came. Watching her come is magnificent, her quirky weird features disappear and she just looks lost in rapture.

It's mesmerising.

'Oh..my..god..' She panted out as I began to kiss back up her body again. I propped myself up over her and proceeded to nuzzle into her shoulder.

'Yeah..' I laughed into her skin and she giggled beneath me.

'No need to get your ego up Salvatore.' She swatted my bare behind as she said this.

'Ow.. Oh my god domestic abuse! Is that the way it is? I trade mind numbing orgasms for abuse?'

'No of course not...you trade them for sex.' She whispered condescendingly as she pulled my head up to her lips. She was getting really good at the intimacy and kissing and truthfully a small part of me danced for joy when I thought about the fact that I was the only one who had kissed her.

Slowly, without breaking the kiss she wrapped one hand into my hair and the other drifted down to guide my cock into her. When she finally grasped me I broke the kiss with a gasp and looked into her eyes as I entered her, there was no end between us, I was her and she was me. It was enchanting, I mean it was always good between us but it was never this intense. I didn't leave her gaze as I began to rock in and out of her, her legs wrapped around my hips, holding me close. I realised that we were engaged in another staring contest, only this one wasn't a game, this was communication without words. My forehead dropped to hers as my thrusts sped up and we were both panting deeply into the air between us.

'Oh my god, Lena.' I moaned out against her lips and reached down to grab her hips.

'Yes, Ye..oh Damon..Oh my god..' Her eyes finally closed and her head tipped back, her mouth slightly ajar and her nails digging into my back.

The sight and sensations of her climax alone were enough to pull me with her and I came, dramatically. A growl was ripped from my throat and my head dropped to her shoulder where I proceeded to bite her to muffle my screams of pleasure. Woah.

That was intense.

'Wow...'

'I...know...' This was all we could pant out to each other before I pulled out of her and rolled over to the other side of the bed. After a few minutes of recovery in which we both just laid staring at the ceiling, she shuffled along until she was resting her head on my chest, mindful of the still healing cuts. Before we drifted off into sleep I felt her place a gentle kiss right over my heart. It felt like she may as well have been branding it as "Hers" because in that post-orgasmic daze I realised that, in fact, it did belong to her.

I awoke the next morning to find Elena still asleep, gently breathing in and out on my chest. I began to think about the ways that I could help her, the places she needed help in her life. I guessed that her parents and their beliefs must have really effected her growing up and I felt she really needed to try and rebuild some bridges there. Then there was the drugs, I mean I don't mind them but I was beginning to feel as if she used them to medicate and I knew how dangerous that could be. I was starting to formulate the idea that underneath the funny, cute, kooky and intelligent woman was just a lonely and extremely sad girl.


	14. Chapter 14

_A/N: Helloo faithful readers! Fear not this is a chapter of substance! longest chapter I have written yet :D I hope you guys enjoy it and I hope you don't mind that I have a song suggestion for while you are __reading. The song is **Long Live (Bear Face Bootleg Remix)** and if you start playing it when you see this ***** **it fits with the situation really well. As always review and I promise I will answer you this time! Craziness of uni planning, anyway I hope you like it, thanks! xoxo_ (Disclaimer: I own nothing)

Warning: Drug use.

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When I awoke my head was resting on the soft planes of Damon's chest and I could feel its soft swell and fall as he breathed beneath me. I have been reading way too much John Keats recently, but _Bright Star _is just so damn good.

I nuzzled my head into his chest for a little bit longer before finally lifting it up to look at him. To my surprise he was already awake and smiling down at me.

'You're a creep you know that?'

'Yes kooky, I'm well aware of my creepy qualities.'

'How long have you been "gazing" at me?' I queried and shuffled up his body so I was straddling him, my breasts flattened against his chest.

'Calm down, I've only been awake like five minutes. Damn kooky, you are quite uptight in the mornings.' At this I reared up from my comfy spot and glared at him.

'I am not uptight!'

'No, you're right you're not, you're all kooky, my kooky.' He smirked as he said this, sitting up and pecking me on the nose as he finished the sentence. My hands ran through his hair, making it even more scruffy while his banded around my waist.

'I have to go.'

'Nooooo... But look how comfy this is' He protested, pulling me in closer until our foreheads and noses were touching. He then proceeded to jut out his lower lip in an adorable pout. I bit it.

'Sorry. Things to do, life to live.' I laughed out after releasing his lip.

'Ugh, fine...but I expect some form of compensation at a later date.'

After his little fuss Damon sighed and dramatically flopped down on the bed, one hand covering his eyes while the other gestured for me to go. Laughing, I climbed off of him and proceeded to dress myself in his 'Dark Side of The Moon' t-shirt and my kimono. I Grabbed my boots off of the floor before perching unceremoniously on the side of the bed next to him. In usual Damon fashion he ran his finger across my thigh and along the hem of his t-shirt.

'I'm gonna want this back...its my favourite t-shirt.'

'Calm down, you'll get it back!' After slapping his hand away I finished pulling on my boots and raised from the bed, ignoring Damon's grabby hands.

'I'll talk to you later, okay?'

'Yeah kooky whatever.' He looked so crestfallen that I couldn't resist leaning down and kissing him on the lips, he responded and we stayed like that, having an intimate goodbye kiss, until I got back ache and had to stand up. Feeling like a granny I gave him a quick wave and made a speedy exit.

The second I was out of his apartment my entire body sagged and tears that I had been waiting to shed fell from my eyes. I couldn't understand how he was acting so casual with me after all of the revelations and break downs of the past two days. As I burst out from the apartment building onto the street the tears continued to flow. I couldn't stop thinking about how horrible the entire situation was for the both of us.

Ignoring the stairs of everyone I ran back to my apartment, needing some form of release. It never came. Even when I stormed into the empty flat and crawled onto the sofa the tears didn't stop. I was crying for him, for his pain, for myself, for having to see him like that, for us and the fucked up situation we were in.

I stormed into the kitchen and ransacked the cupboards, maybe I could find something to drink to take the edge off and calm me down. I was beginning to lose hope when finally, thank god, there it was, a half drunk bottle of vodka. Through a mess of tears I scrambled for the bottle and pulled it out of its resting place. Without thought I stood, unscrewed the dark red lid and took a long sip. It still tasted as vile as ever and I coughed and spluttered as I stumbled back into the living room.

Five minutes and a sizeable amount of the bottle later I still didn't feel much better, the burn of the alcohol wasn't "warming" it still hurt like a bitch and so did my head from my over active yet slightly hazy thoughts. Sloppily throwing the bottle to the ground I searched for another solution, I just wanted to stop thinking about everything. About him. I was in despair at the whole situation, he needed help and much more than I could ever offer or even begin to dream of offering. I had felt so helpless the other evening and ever since and I just wanted it to stop. I found the african painted box on the coffee table and began to pull everything out of it. Weed. Papers. Roach papers. Tobacco. Grinder.

Again, with sloppy movements I set about rolling the joint. Make the roach, grind the weed until it is in a manageable state, spread a small amount of tobacco into the paper, add weed, add roach, roll it together, lick the paper, seal. The motions had become such second nature to me now that even in my drunk state I was able to roll a pretty decent joint.

Once I was fully satisfied with my creation I shuffled back on the sofa before proceeding to light it. Now this was the comforting burn, the feeling of the smoke in my mouth, the rich, herbal smell and the slight delay in light headedness. This would help me. I continued to take deep inhales on the joint, marvelling at the sounds it made as it burned, occasionally I would push myself too much and end up coughing but the overall effect was extremely soothing. My mind was fucked.

I think I passed out because the next thing I remembered it was getting dark outside. I was still completely intoxicated from both the alcohol and drugs. Where was Caroline? I rolled over onto my back and stared up at the ceiling. My mind drifted to Damon again.

Why was I still thinking about him?

The marks on his chest hazily drifted through my mind. The sight of him sobbing and it suddenly all became too much. The silence of the room, the loneliness I was feeling. With slow, laboured movements I reached for my phone, remembering the party I had been invited to months ago was on tonight. After recovering the address from my calendar I began to collect my bag and belongings. I grabbed the bottle of vodka off of the floor as a god precaution and stumbled out of the apartment.

Maybe if I was surrounded by loads of people then I would be distracted enough to forget about it all. Why was he always on my mind? I continued to stagger down the hallway in search of the flat when suddenly I heard and felt the recognisable thump of drum and base. Not my favourite kind of music but my hazy mind let it pass and I knocked on the door. Before I had the chance to rethink my decision the door swung open and Mason's tanned face flew into view. He was clearly on something, my guess would have been MDMA or some form of ecstasy. His eyes were slightly glazed, he was sub consciously swaying and chewing desperately on a piece of gum.

'LENA! YOU CAME!' In typical MD fashion he reached out and pulled me into a huge hug. I half-heartedly through my arms around him.

'Yeah Mason, I came.' It came out as a sigh because I realised that I was never going to be in a place as good as these people.

'Hey, Lena why so sad?!'

'Oh nothing.'

'No, none of the moping in this apartment. Come and collect your party favour.' I was ushered further into the dark apartment, the only light came from strobes and from the way everyone is behaving I could tell they were on MDMA as well. People pointlessly kissing and yelling how much they loved each other. Some were just lying on the floor and half heartedly swaying their head to the music. Mason dragged me further down the hallway to his bedroom, it was dark in there as well, just the light from the moon outside spilling in through the window. I perched on the bed and took a sip of vodka so I had something to do while he was rummaging through the drawers.

'Ahh! Here it is! Especially for you my sad little Lena. Everyone else only got a couple of lines but you know I have a soft spot for you.' He held out the baggie of powdered crystals, and little wrapped bombs, all in all it was around a gram of MDMA, the joy of going to a drug dealer's party.

'And as an extra gift to pick you up..' he held out a tiny rizla wrapped bomb containing more MD.

'Oh wow, Mase this is so generous.'

'Well you know Lena I like to take care of my guests.' He said this as he tucked the baggie into my hand.

'Now open wide..' I did as he said and let him place the little bomb on my tongue. The taste of chemicals flooded through my mouth and I took a quick swig of vodka to wash it down with. With help from Mason I managed to stand from his bed.

'Have a good night..' He whispered this in my ear and smiled before dropping his own bomb.

'Let's rejoin the festivities, yes?'

'Definitely.' I smile formed on my face at the promise of the evening.

'Oh wait do you mind if I quickly do I line in here so I'm not waiting for ages before anything kicks in?'

'Be my guest Lena, Me Casa, Su Casa or whatever the line is..' Mason grinned again before slipping out of the room and leaving me to cut my line. I did so quickly and efficiently, pouring it out and crushing it down on the desk using my card which I then used to shape into a neat line. I grabbed a bill out of my bag and hastily rolled it. Right before I snorted I hesitated, considering if this was in fact the best decision but suddenly Damon's broken face was in my mind again and I quickly snorted the powder off of the desk.

GOD DAMN that burned like hell.

A few seconds later I felt the chemically drip fall down the back of my throat. God that was vile. Now I remembered while I had stopped doing hard, powdered drugs. After a few sniffs and a sip of vodka to get rid of the chemically drip in the back of my throat I left for the party.

Only a few minutes later I could feel the line kicking in and I began to sway among all of the sweaty people. Damon was far from my mind, just like I wanted. There was no pain, no guilt, no fear, no doubt.

Just euphoria, me and the music.

When the bomb kicked in thirty minutes later it was like waves of warmth and love flowing through me. I could feel someone behind me grab my hips and I linked our fingers, wanting the connection, I needed some gum, my jaw was moving crazily. With my eyes closed and my head lolling to the music I felt a strip of gum being pressed against my lips, I greedily accepted it and began chewing like a mad man. Suddenly there was another body, this time pressed against my front, it was then that I realised the stick of gum had been coated in MD and another wave hit me. I began to sway again just letting my body float with the music, my mind and body couldn't think of anything else, just the music. I didn't realise that there were now at least three sets of hands on me, one was running up my leg and under my t-shirt. His t-shirt. That hand lightly grabbed my ass, I wanted it to stop but I couldn't come out of the music haze or open my eyes. I was also pretty sure that they were propping me up.

Suddenly another hand was reaching up the front of the t-shirt. His t-shirt. It began trying to fondle my breast.

'mmhh.. .meh.. .' The hazy words started coming out of my mouth and I tried to untangle my fingers from those on my now bare hips.

'Hey guys, back off a bit okay, she's spoken for..'

'Oh sure, sorry Mase..'

'Oh yeah man, had no clue..'

'Won't happen again..' Suddenly the three sets of hands were replaced by one and my arms were pulled around someone's neck.

'Mhh..Da..Damon?..'

'Sorry, Lena, just me..' Hips began to grind into mine and I swayed again. The music, just the music, not Damon. I reached into my bra and pulled another bomb out of the baggie. I needed to get rid of Damon, this is all I could think as I swallowed the chemically package. I leant into Mason and we swayed together, his hands gliding up and down my back. A wave of heat suddenly washed over me and sweat beaded on my forehead.

'mmh wa..water..I'm gon..get..water..' I mumbled out, pushing away from Mason and swaying along through the rooms to the kitchen. The entire room was lit my lava lamps, it was beautiful, but I really needed water, I was so hot.

As I was glugging some down I looked at one of the counters and thought of Damon, our morning in the kitchen. Why did I keep thinking about him? Suddenly another wave of MDMA passed through me and I fell back against the fridge. I ran a hand through my sweaty hair and thats when I realised it. Through the haze and drugs and the beat of the music it hit me.

I loved him.

I was crazily in love with this guy, the realisation and the drugs made me slide down to the floor and slump against the front of the fridge. The last thing I thought before I passed out completely was: Shit, I've never had that happen before.

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_A/N: horrid fact: the bit with the three guys is something that I had to stop happening to a girl in real life, I have no time or respect for those who take advantage of girls or women, no matter the state they are in._


	15. Chapter 15

_A/N: Thank you so much for your kind reviews! If you have not received a reply yet fret not because I'm going through all of them :D This chapter sort of got away from me, a lot happens and not a lot happens all at the same time. Anyway I hope you all enjoy it and as always review and tell me what you think. I an't believe I've had over 100 views for this little story I love you guys so much for it, it seriously makes me so excited when my phone vibrates and i think it might be a review notification! Thanks! xoxo (Disclaimer: I own nothing.)_

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When I woke up there were tears pouring down my face. I don't know why, maybe I had woken up earlier and thought about something too much. I didn't remember too much from the previous night just dancing...and...Oh my god I'm in love with Damon. At this realisation tears flowed from my face at a faster rate. Fucking comedowns, I had always had shitty ones but this one was really bad.

The daylight was burning my eyes, my head was pounding and I just wanted to crawl up in a ball somewhere and cry about every aspect of my life. On that thought I pulled my snivelling ass up from its place in front of the fridge and decided that I needed to go home. Everyone was passed out throughout the apartment apart from Mason who I saw sitting out on the balcony staring out across the landscape. I figured that it was probably best for me to not interrupt him, especially not when I was uncontrollably sobbing and probably looked ridiculous. So with this in mind I slipped out of the apartment of comedowns and slowly stumbled down the corridor, thankful that the party was in the same building as mine.

I think by this point I had stopped registering the fact that I was crying and the tears just flowed as if it was natural. Ask me what I was crying about at the time and I probably couldn't say, just everything seemed bone-crushingly devastating. I mildly wondered if this was how Damon felt when he lapsed or broke-down. Then I berated myself for asking such a stupid question, of course you could never know what someone who was in such despair was feeling. As usual with my come downs the self loathing kicked in, it didn't last for long but it was a healthy dose of questioning and criticising all of my life decisions. You're an idiot for doing drugs. Your parents are so ashamed.

You're a disappointment.

It was with this last thought that I finally unlocked and walked through my apartment door.

'Where the fu...Lena?!'

I inwardly groaned. Why was he here?

'What happened?! Is it Jeremy?'

'No Damon...its me...I'm just gonna go sleep for a bit.'

'No way Kooky I...'

'Damon...Please..' I was petrified if he comforted me I'd tell him some weird comedown shit or even worse that I love him.

'Well I'll lie down with you then.' Before I could protest he scooped me up into his arms and strode towards the bedroom. I carried on crying as he did, embarrassed by the situation and by myself.

When we were through the door he set me down standing before motioning for me to stay where I was. Wrapping my arms around myself, suddenly feeling cold, I wondered what Damon was doing in the other room. There was the sound of drawers being opened and the kettle boiling, my guess was he was making tea or something. I was now sniffling rather than full out crying, my stomach flipped at the thought of having to explain everything to Damon, the drugs, the party, the guys. Oh my god the guys... A gasp flew from my chest as I remembered them. I suddenly felt disgusting and started pulling at my clothes, desperate to get them off of my body. It felt like if I got rid of the clothes I got rid of them, their scent, their hands, their sweat, their mouths...everything. Damon's t-shirt was hastily pulled over my head and haphazardly thrown across the room. I then began to scramble for the clasp on the back of my bra, just blindly desperate to get out of these clothes. The clasp finally came free and I yanked it away from my body not caring about the little baggie of powder that fell at my feet. Finally I pulled my lacy pair of panties down my legs and pulled them and my cowboy boots from my feet, even my woollen socks hit the floor. That's when Damon walked in.

'Hey Kooky I made you...Oh my god Lena you're shaking.' He rushed over to me, placing the mug and plate he was holding on the floor. On his way he spotted the baggie and sighed deeply before grabbing it and putting it on top of the chest of drawers.

'Jesus Lena.' His tone wasn't one of anger, more of just shock, maybe disappointment. I understood, I was disappointed at myself as well. Suddenly he was right in front of me and pulling his long sleeved henley over his head.

'Arms up.' I felt like a child but after sniffling a little more I slowly raised my hands up and let him pull his top over me, allowing it to engulf me. He smiled down at me and grabbed a tissue from the side before dabbing my nose and face.

'There's my Kooky.' I let out a small chuckle at this and cautiously wrapped my arms around his midsection, letting my head rest against the warm, bare skin there.

'Do you want some tea, toast?' I enjoyed feeling his chest vibrate beneath me as he spoke and for the first time this morning my horrible thoughts stopped, Damon calmed me, he shooed away the bad comedown, the bad guys, he got rid of everything.

'Yes please.'

'Okay, lets get into bed first.' I walked across the mattress before settling in the corner with the large pile of pillows behind my head. Damon unbuttoned and pulled off his jeans and climbed in next to me with the toast and tea. After a few minutes of eating in comfortable silence he finally spoke.

'Do you want to talk about it?'

'Not really.'

'Okay well then I guess we'll just stay like this until you do.'

'Damon...'

'No Elena...I need you to tell me. I need to understand why you did this. Why you do this..'

I think that was the first time he had used my full name since we first met. He always called me kooky or Lena, never my full name. I risked looking over my shoulder at him as I put the plate back down in front of us. His brow was furrowed down and he looked both sad and confused. It hurt that I was the one to put that expression on his face.

'Please Lena. Please just tell me what happened.'

The look of despair on his face was one I couldn't bare any more and so I braced myself, let out a deep breath and sat back next to him.

'It was too much. Everything was too much Damon. I'd never dealt with or seen anything like what happened the other evening and..and it was just too much. Every time I closed my eyes I could just see you and it was crushing me, I wanted to sit somewhere and cry for days. For you. So after I left yours I came here and tried to drown you out with alcohol and weed, I think I passed out for a few hours, a few hours of relief. But then I woke up and you were back, crying or in the bath or lying in bed or being normal after everything and... I mean... Well I just couldn't understand how Damon... And I wasn't in the place to try and understand you and I felt so angry because I knew I couldn't be the one to help you the way that you need and I so desperately want to be that person but we both know I never could be. Anyway so I remembered that Mason, this guy who lives in my building was having a party. I stumbled over with a bottle of vodka, I swear I just thought that it was going to be a drinks party. That all changed when Mason opened the door and I could see that everyone inside was on MD. I should have gone home but at the time all I could focus on was getting you out of my head. You're up here all the time...god it's like you've infected my mind like that weird stuff you see in those movies. I just wanted to think of nothing, not to feel this weight on my chest. I think I was jealous of everyone else because they didn't have to think about you, but then I don't want that because if they were thinking about you then it meant you were theirs and you're not, you're mine...you're mine to freak out over and pathetically try and care for and you're mine to touch and to kiss and to..' I stopped myself knowing that I couldn't say the next word. The next word was a dangerous territory that I didn't want to venture into yet. I couldn't go there yet, I'd never been there before and for all I knew it was a horrible, painful place and we really didn't need any more pain between the two of us.

'Anyway, I took the free drugs mason gave me and you finally just drifted away, I didn't have to think about anything else apart from the music and staying up right. I am not good with responsibility Damon, I mean I know I just said you're mine and my responsibility but that doesn't mean that I'm good at being responsible for things. I killed my first pet, it was a goldfish called Nemo, you know, like the movie.. Anyway one day I went to the bowl and he just wasn't swimming around anymore. Mum and Dad never told me you had to clean out the bowl out and change the water but I mean who kills a goldfish?!' Oh dear god was I rambling, I think I was close to tears by the end of the Nemo story and I was so off topic and saying random crap to him the whole thing was humiliating.

'This is the part where you're going to hate me... So I was dancing and just revelling and...and then there were hands on my hips and I was so out of it that I just wanted some form of contact, it didn't really mean anything to me...but..but then there was someone else in front of me and I think they gave me some gum and it had more MD on it or something like that... I started chewing on it and carried on dancing that's..that's..that's when I felt it, there were all of these hands and they...they were all over me, under your top and...and I couldn't stop them I mean they were basically holding me up at this point...I think that's when Mason came over and got rid of them and he danced with me, I can't remember if he tried anything as well. That's when you came back...I thought he was you and then I went to the kitchen but I'd taken too much MD on top of the alcohol and weed from earlier and I passed out by the fridge... I woke up this morning and I...well I er came home.' The epic ramblings were finally over and at last I could turn my head to look at him.

His body was rigid, the kind gaze that I always associated with Damon was nowhere to be seen. His eyes were cold, icy blue and staring straight ahead and I could see his jaw twitching. Shit I didn't think he would be that angry at me, I hoped he would understand that it was drugs and that I didn't want anything to do with any of them, I was barely conscious...

'Did you hear their names?'

'What? Damo..'

'Lena..Did. You. Hear. Their. Names?'

'No..no Damon I didn't and if I did I don't remember..why?'

'Because I'm going to kill them for touching what's mine.' The words flew out of his mouth as if they were a reflex, I don't think he meant to say them aloud, especially not to me anyway. His primal, possessiveness while extremely hot was also rather unnerving and I struggled to form a reply.

'Oh god sorry Lena I didn't mean to say that out loud..its just..'

'No Damon, I understand. So you're not mad at me?'

'Oh my god you seriously are kooky. No you idiot, I am not mad at you.' A huge smile broke out on my face and I shuffled nearer to him, brushing my hand across his cheek before bringing our foreheads together.

'I like it when you say I'm yours. Its hot when you're possessive.' I whispered through my grin. I hoped he didn't notice my technique of distraction through sex, I didn't want him to mull over everything I had blurted out or ask me any questions. From the shudder I witnessed ripple through him I guessed that my plan was working. Deciding to move into phase two I shuffled closer to him, before lifting myself to straddle him. I still wasn't wearing panties and knew he could feel the wetness that had formed when he said "mine" through the material of his boxers.

'Its also true, I am yours. In every way.'

At this statement he grabbed my hips and pulled me down and closer, grinding me into his now hard cock.

'Say it again.'

'I'm yours.' I whispered into his ear before biting down on the lobe and tugging gently.

'Fuck...Lena.'

'I want you inside me Damon. I want to feel you moving in and out of me. I want you to claim whats yours.' At the word claim his boxers had been pulled down enough to free his erection and the henley was tugged clean off of my body. By the end of the sentence he was grabbing my hips and pulling me down onto him.

'Oh fuck..' We both sighed together, the intensity of suddenly being entered by the man I loved as he claimed me as his forced me to wrap my arms around him. I needed support and something to anchor me to reality.

We fell into a beautiful pattern, our hips rising or falling to meet the others', his hands running up and down my back, occasionally grabbing my ass. As the intensity of the movements grew, his thrusts became more urgent and slightly more forceful, I felt my orgasm building. I wasn't even coming yet and I was panting and shaking, I had to tear my forehead away from his and bury it in his shoulder, clawing at his shoulders and hair as he carried on bringing my hips down to his. I wanted this forever, I wanted him inside me forever, I wanted our skin touching, our sweat and breath mingling. And as he finally hit that spot over and over again I came, screaming out his name into his shoulder.

'Yes...Oh..Oh my god Damon! Yes..Damon..Yes...oh my god..I love you.' The last words were not meant to come out and the second they did he came inside me claiming me as his. Before I could contemplate if he heard them or not, I felt my chin being lifted from his shoulder and my eyes met perfect, blue, sated ones. Between our heavy panting he finally spoke.

'What did you just say?'


End file.
